December

Well, here it is, 5 days from Christmas. It's been a crazy month (or 3). We started the month out with an insane storm that pretty much wiped out Vernonia. Thankfully, Amy and her family were safe, except for that storage unit of Maggie and Rich's that was filled 5 feet with water...and the Airstream that went missing after floating down the creek...but everyONE was ok.
Josh and I saw the Trans Siberian Orchestra (see prev. post) on the 2nd.
We had Hayden's birthday party at Pump it Up on the 9th. It really was a blast. The best part was Sarah Thompson, Haley and I racing through an obstacle course. I went flying through a very small opening and threw myself on top of Haley, who in turn flew onto Molly. Did I stop? Hell no, I won. Josh challenged me to a race. I was all cocky and thought it was no challenge. I was wrong, very wrong. I even cheated and started without him. By the time I was about 1/5 of the way through, he was done. I swear, he's got super powers. And to top it all off, Hayden puked at his party, which was awesome.
Thursday, the 13th, my parents took Hayden to the Holiday Express steam engine ride from Oaks Park. He loved it and keeps calling it the Polar Express, like the movie. So what if they didn't go to the North Pole, he doesn't care.
On the 14th, Amy came and took Hayden toy shopping & to dinner. They spent the evening together. She did the same with Lauren for her birthday in November, only they went clothes shopping. She pretty much outdid herself. They both had so much fun and felt really special.
Kara had a Christmas party on the 15th. At the last minute, my very good friend Sarah from high school, decided to come. She took the train from Tacoma and spent the weekend with us. Crazy enough, after almost 10 years, we still think the same and finish eachother's sentences. It was really great. The party was fantastic, we stayed until 2am, with Kate in tow. She was a trooper, I tell you. She only cried on the way there and back. I mean, the entire trip. But she was happy as a clam at the party!
My parents had a party on the 16th, sort of an extended Sunday dinner. We had the usual crew, minus the Thompsons (they're in Florida) plus the Sprechers, Ashley's mom and step dad, Amy & the Chilcott boys. Andrew is back in town for a month, so it was good to see him. He finally got to meet Kate.
The 18th was Mom's birthday, so Emily, Haley & I took her to lunch at Red Robin. Mmmm, I could eat there every day.
Today is Pajama Day at Mooberry. Hayden's wearing his new Spiderman jammies and Lauren's wearing her purple long johns with pink furry slippers. So cute. It's Hayden's last day until after the break. Tomorrow's Lauren's last day. I'm going to miss school...
So, the weekend is fast approaching, thank God. Josh is going to have a 4 day weekend, which is much needed after starting his new job. He's absolutely exhausted. He's not used to getting up at 7:30 every morning. And because he's going through all this new employee training, he doesn't have enough time to get his actual job done, so he's staying late every night. I'm looking forward to him being on a schedule, knowing when he'll be home for dinner, etc. But until then, we'll just keep passing like ships in the night and wait for that day.
I can't believe it, only 5 days 'til Christmas! I need to get myself in the spirit! Maybe some music will help. Bing, take it away!

Love you all, Merry Christmas!!!

"Rock Never Dies!"

http://youtube.com/watch?v=irYg8dl_P8E&feature=related

Yes, I heard that yelled at this show last night. We went to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra. We aquired tickets to the sold out show because Aaron's family goes every year. It's a tradition that dates back (I have no idea) years. Well, his mom passed away last year & in order to keep the tradition alive, Aaron bought tickets as soon as they went on sale. Come to find out, his dad wouldn't be able to go. He was going to be in Mexico with his new wife. Yes, already...
So, we got tickets.
I don't know exactly what I expected, but it wasn't this. I was picturing a much more elegant show. Not to say I didn't LOVE it, just totally more "mullet", than elegant. There was a drunk woman headbanging right next to Aaron and some unfortunate 9-ish year old girl who was literally worshipping the band from a standing position. Probably pissing off the people behind her. There were a lot of "rock" hands. You know, like the sign language "I love you", but more devil horns.
I don't know if you can tell unless you know what to look for, but in the video you can see a girl running around with a violin. She was crazy & awesome. Anyway, this show pretty much kicked butt. We hope to go again next year with the kids. Anyone want to watch Kate? :)

Changes

Well, today was Josh's last day as a full time employee of the Public Defenders' office. He starts his new job for the Library Services on Saturday. It's a bittersweet day for both of us. He has been working there for an astonishing 10 years. I met him downtown for lunch today. We actually ate in his lunchroom with a bunch of his coworkers. There were so many well-wishers and genuinely sad goodbyes. We went back to his office after lunch and as I was sitting there nursing Kate and Josh was down the hall taking care of last minute business, I was thinking about all the times I had come downtown for lunch with him. The first time was when we were first dating. My car overheated on the freeway and I was about 45 minutes late and had no cell phone to call him. It was mighty embarrassing... I was remembering all the times I brought our kids in to see him, starting with baby Lauren and ending today with baby Kate. Wierd, we're so much older now. He started that job in highschool and we're 27 years old now with 3 kids.
So here's to new beginnings!

Aaah, Christmas is Here!

Kate is just about the best thing EVER. She's wearing a giant puffy lavender bunting with a hood. I took her outside to visit with the neighbors while Josh was putting up lights and the big kids were riding their bikes. She was passed around like a joint between the women on my street. She's so good. I am so cold however, that my butt is actually numb. I mean really numb. The blood is making its way back to my extremities, but the rear end is always last to warm back up. Or as Ashley would call it, my honches.
So yeah, we have our Christmas lights up! And the inside is decorated too, all but the tree. It just instantly puts me in a better mood.
Well, that is all for now. I'm heading downstairs to watch The Santa Clause with the fam. I'm a tad giddy.

Suburbia Sucketh

Sunday was Lauren's birthday party. It pretty much rocked everyone's socks off. Literally. The party was at OGA (Oregon Gymnastics Academy). There were 18 kids there, along with their parents and a few brave childless adults. The best part was the foam pit. Jon, Haley, Maggie and I went in with the kids. I could see the look of interest in a few of the other adults (Josh, Stefan, Emily) but they didn't make it in. The only thing is you have to remember to remove socks BEFORE jumping in. It's a little like quicksand and will eat your socks. Luckily, no socks were hurt in the making of this party.
When the mayhem, uh I mean party was over, Papa and Connie took Lauren, Hayden and Audrey to the "River House". This would be Connie's son's vacation home near Battleground. Connie's granddaughter Sarah was there with her mom Pam. The kids had a wonderful time. Connie said the only problem was with Hayden. He wanted more Froot Loops. :)
So, since the kids were gone, Josh and I decided to go to dinner. We still had Kate, but she doesn't eat so she's still a cheap date. We headed out a little after 8 and NOTHING was open. Seriously, we tried like 4 different places. We went to Safeway, bought food to make at home and then found a sushi place right next door on our way out. It was open 'til 9:30. Sweeeet. We followed our sushi dinner with a trip to Blockbuster. We found 4 previously viewed dvds. Yes, we OWN Borat now.

Jake's Blog

Awhile back, I came across this blog that is written by a Marine. At the time, he was actually in Iraq. He's back in the States now, in Twenty Nine Palms but he's still writing. He's funny and well-spoken, check him out.

I know we all want this war to be over and for our troops to come home. My brother in law, Lucas is in Iraq at this very moment. Whether we are republican, democrat or other, we all agree that Bush is a moron. (At least I think we all agree on that). Here's a good example though of the other side of the story.

Jake's Blog from October 23rd:

Stark apologizes for saying troops die for Bush's 'amusement'

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Rep. Pete Stark, D-California, apologized Tuesday on the House floor for his recent comments saying troops in Iraq were getting "their heads blown off for the president's amusement."

It's not the blatant stupidity and insensitivity of this remark that is getting my blood boiling, its Starks' blanket assumption that everyone fighting in Iraq A)is a political pawn of President Bush B) doesn't know what they are fighting for C) somehow didn't volunteer for the ALL VOLUNTEER MILITARY and D) doesn't want to be over there.

This is right up John Kerry's alley of saying that if you don't do well in school that you'll end up stuck in Iraq. Wow. Hey, thanks for the thumbs up and high fives guys. Us dumb-shits over in Iraq really appreciate being publicly humiliated and used as political propaganda.

I really hope that if, God forbid, anything were to happen to me in Iraq, that congressmen like Stark, and there are dozens of them, would have the guts to walk up to my mom and tell them that I died for the President's amusement. I think my mom would punch them in the face. I take that back, my mom is way too nice of a lady to lower herself to that standard, but maybe with luck my dog would relieve himself on the guy's $1000 tax payer funded shoes.

Take your apology and jump off a bridge. For my amusement.

Hi, I'm Sarah the Elf

So I was talking to Josh yesterday as we were getting ready. I was suggesting that we figure out our Christmas lists and gift ideas and get started on shopping. He basically shut me down and said that gifts are stupid.
Well, as much as I wanted to smack him, I agree to some extent. We were talking about how dumb it is that we go out every year looking for stuff to buy for eachother and end up getting stuff just to get stuff. He's much more concerned with this whole consumerism thing than I am, but I get it. Every year, when we get home from our gift exchange extravaganza, there's a TON of little plastic stuff to find a home for as well as all the packaging to throw away. It kind of sucks, but it's something we all just accept.
I love shopping, there's no denying it. Josh and many others don't feel the same way. It actually hinders the Christmas spirit for him. That makes me sad, like he's missing out on the giddyness I have starting the day after Thanksgiving and all through December just because he's dreading the mall.
How 'bout a homemade Christmas next year? I know we don't have time to do it this year, but next? Huh huh huh?
Ok, I'm stepping off my soap box now. G'Day.

Stuck.

I can't leave the house because all three of my bras have puke on them. Thank you Kate.

What's Next?

Flash for the cure, really?
Amy and I have this little game, where we point out all the ridiculous breast cancer awareness merchandise that is out on the market. We have seen gardening supplies, dog collars, shoes, excercise & sports equipment, various foods including tomato soup, all types of jewelery, and so many more. But today tops it for me. Flash drives for the cure, what a joke.
This just happens to be the anniversary of my grandma's death, and seeing crap like this makes me want to hurt someone. I am fully supportive of finding a cure and the pink ribbon is something that I think is very important. I just wish that every single company in the world didn't think of it as a way to get people to buy their crap.
I will purposely NOT buy these stupid flash drives, even if a need for them arises.

Quality "Dad Time"

So this post is mostly for Kara. She told me I needed to post more of the funny things the kids say before I forget them. Here's a goody.
Saturday night, I went to Emily's house with Kate and Lauren for a jewelery party. Meanwhile, Josh and Hayden were hanging out at home.
When the kids reunited later that night, they were rehashing their time away from eachother, trying to make the other one jealous. Lauren said, "I won a free bracelet in the raffle, played with Molly and Charlotte and ate a brownie". Hayden (in his best "Hayden voice") responded with, "Yeah, well I watched Dad play a video game, watched Mythbusters, helped with the dishes and helped Dad pour beer into a metal cup".

This is where I start laughing so hard I almost had to pull the car over. I called Josh to tell him what I had just heard. What Hayden had meant by "beer into a metal cup" was "whiskey into a flask". I'm so glad Hayden got to be a part of that...

PrinciPAL? I think not.

Today was one of those days...

Josh got up with the kids and got them ready. I woke up a few minutes before they were going to leave for school and went down to help get them out the door. They left, so I came back upstairs to snuggle with the still sleeping Kate. I fell asleep nursing her, thinking this was going to be a great, peaceful day with both older kids in school. At 8:40ish, I got a call from the school. "William (Hayden's first name for those who don't know) doesn't have school today" is what the cruel receptionist tells me. So, I have to get myself and Kate dressed. We were freaking asleep! So, that sucked...
Hayden came home and we hung out for the morning and early afternoon. It wasn't awful or anything, but he was bored and kept asking me when we would be going to get Lauren or when we were going to have lunch or any other question he could come up with. So, not peaceful.
At about 1:30, I realized it was early release day. That means that I have to be at the school at 2:05, rather than 2:35. I was showered, but not dressed. Kate was neither. I still hadn't had any lunch, because it's kind of hard to get yourself food when you have a newborn attached to your boob all the time. So, we left to get Lauren and I hadn't eaten since 7:45 am.
Thennnnn...I got to the school and had to circle the parking lot 3 times before finding a place to park. I sent Hayden to retrieve Lauren so I wouldn't have to get out of the car with the baby. After a few minutes, I'm starting to wonder where my children are. Just then, the principal comes up to the window and informs me that she won't let them walk all the way to the curb. I will have to drive around to get them. I wanted to hurt her. So anyway, it took me 10 minutes to get her. It ususally takes about 2.
After that, our day was great. We spent a few hours at Emily's house. She made me coffee, God bless her.
I am aware that this was THE lamest post in the history of posts. Oh well, you get what you get. I'll throw in a funny picture to make it better.

Furry Baby Who Barfs-Kate's Indian Name

If you don't already read Kara's blog (Condi-to the right), please read her latest post. It cracks me up. She and Amy came over the other night for dinner and wine, which they brought, God bless them. We had a great time just hanging out and catching up. It's been a long time since the three of us have been together. Josh was home too, which always makes for a great conversation. (He and Kara debating about something completely unimportant)My favorite part of the night is when Kara commented on how much hair Kate has and I thought she would appreciate seeing how furry her back is too. I pulled down her top so she could peer in at what I think is the most adorable thing in the universe and her response is, "that's disgugsting". I guess some people just don't dig the furriness that is Kate.
Speaking of Kate, she just barfed down Lauren's shoulder. Hahaha. Kate barfs alot actually. At first I thought maybe she was sick or really gassy or something. I think I figured it out though. She's just an overeater like her mommy. Only instead of gaining weight, she just rejects the extra in the form of cottage cheesy spew.
Well, today is house cleaning day. I'm finally capable of doing all the housework on my own. I sort of long for the days of hearing, "no Sarah! Don't lift that!" or "Sarah, make sure you're getting enough rest". Only problem is that along with being pathetic and incapable of doing anything, I couldn't eat sugar or coffee. So to reward myself for cleaning the house today, I'm plannig to eat cookies and drink lots of joe.

Update on "The Did"

It's been a week since I gave birth to the latest addition to our family. Thank you Amy for posting the picture and announcement. This is the first time I've actually had two free hands to post.
Kate, or as my dad calls her, "The Did" as in Katydid, is awesome. She's already sleeping through most of the night, which is a little painful for a breastfeeding mom, but still lovely. I know her sleepiness won't last for too long, but I'll keep hopes high.
We had our one week visit from the midwife today. Linda came out to our house and checked on us. Kate is back up a little from her early weight loss. When she was born, she was 7/11 and had gotten down to 7/4. Today she was back up to 7/6. Yay!
Funny story: I found her umbilical cord stump in my bra today. Ew. I have NO idea how it got there, but I was doing laundry and looked down to see something poking through my shirt. When I first saw it, I thought it was a chunk of the granola bar I had just eaten and thought "wow, I'm fat" and then realized it was the dead hunk of tissue from my baby's belly. It must have fallen off while I was burping her and made it's way down my shirt. Anyway, it's off and she can have a real bath soon and not just the lame sponge bath I've been giving her.
I will leave you with this image. She is wrapped up in a blanket right now, with no clothes on (she shat on them) and her hairy back is slightly exposed. Oh how I love the fur.

It's a Girl!

Katherine Patricia Chilcott was born this morning at 8:20 am. She weighed in at 7 pounds 11 ounces and is 21 inches long.

More details to come later.

What the hell?

Has anyone else seen the commercial for this train wreck? It's Camelot, starring Lou Diamond Phillips. I have nothing else to say.

http://www.broadwayla.org/Read/

Comfy Kate

Still no baby. I'm sulking just a tad right now. I scrubbed the kitchen floor, bounced on my yoga ball, walked up and down the stairs far too many times and...nothing. I'm SO ready to be unpregnant. Keep those thoughts of excruciating pain coming my way. I'm prepared.
Ok, I'm being a little dramatic, but really, I'm ready for this baby to be OUT!

Quick Baby Update

I had my in home visit with the midwives yesterday. They assured me that the baby is NOT 11 pounds as I previously thought. Thank God! Also, she's head down and engaged. Yay!!! I have been given the green light as of today to deliver any time. (before that I would have had to go to the hospital) So, the waiting game begins. Lauren was 10 days early and Hayden was a full 2 weeks early. According to that pattern, she should be here any day!

I am actually having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions. (to those of you out of the know, they are pointless painless contractions that don't really mean anything) But today I have had a few that actually kind of hurt. Maybe by the time I start labor for real, I will already be half way! I know, wishful thinking...

Anyway, I will let everyone know as soon as she arrives! Hope it won't be long!

F*%K

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsPYJIat0lo

If you haven't seen any episodes of Deadwood yet, this may not be the best advertisement for it. If you can't handle the "f" word, do not watch this. If you can, rock on.

Pumped Up!!

Just a quick funny for ya. I was driving home from lunch with Hayden and Josh today. When we pulled into the driveway, I started having a contraction (not a labor one, just a stupid one). I literally couldn't reach the steering wheel to turn the ignition off. My belly was too hard to lean over. Cool, huh?

Not sure why this basketball is so huge, but it's kind of fitting...

Stuff & Nonsense & Stuff

Lauren had her classroom preview today. We got to meet her teacher and see her classroom. Unfortunately, we also got to see the creepy kid from last year. He bothers me and I don't know why. Oh well, her teacher is great and the classroom is cute. She's in the front row too, what a little teacher's pet. :)

We will find out tomorrow who Hayden's teacher is. Either of the two options will be awesome, so I'm not worried. He loves both of them and they are "fighting" for him, so he'll be happy either way.

I have a grease spot on the front of my belly. Do you know how fat that makes me feel? Gross.

Speaking of fat, I'm 35 weeks today, which means I only have 2 to go until I'm safe to deliver anytime. And she FLIPPED!!! I was really starting to freak out about it. I am not really worried about the home delivery or the lack of drug availability, but I was not excited about delivering a baby that is facing the wrong direction. From what I've heard, it's pretty miserable. In fact, Heather just had her baby that way. He did flip as he was coming out, but she had to go through hours of back labor before he figured it out. And even with an epidural, she was pretty much wasted.

This picture makes me laugh every time I look at it. There's no other reason for putting it up. Yes, that's James for those who don't know already.

Right at this moment, my kids are exhibiting some very special behavior. Lauren is pretending to feed Hayden "baby food" (playdough) with an actual baby food spoon. He's making baby noises. I should stop them, but they're not talking to me and that is goooood.

If you haven't noticed, I'm ready for summer to be over. They're driving me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...

Oh my.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GRcQvEM3NU

This is quite possibly the sickest and funniest video I've ever seen.

Boycott

I'm boycotting Trader Joe's for exactly two days. I went there today and had a horrible experience. I was looking for bacon and found two packages that were open. The guy I told about it said, "oh, that isn't good" and then went and found me a good one. Nice, but still makes me wonder.

Then, while we were standing in line, Hayden's chin starts randomly bleeding. Alot! He was dripping and everything. The hole that the blood was coming out of was approximately the size of a pin prick. It was like he had sprung a leak. The girl behind the counter gave us some tissue to sop it up, but it just kept bleeding. I grabbed some more tissue for the road and we left.

As we are walking across the parking lot, Lauren accidentally trips Hayden. Down he goes, onto his knee and elbow. He's screaming like a little girl, so some nice guy comes up and offers us some wet wipes to clean him up. It was so crazy, it was actually comical.

When the chaos finally comes to an end, I get a band aid on his chin and we drive home.

As I'm unloading the grocery bags, I pick up a pack of juice boxes, only to find that two of them have been mysteriously skewered somewhere along the way and have pooled in the bottom of the bag (luckily, they were my cool new 99 cent bags and not paper). Good Lord.

I will keep my promise to boycott for 2 days. It's going to be really easy seeing as how I wouldn't ordinarily return to the store for at least a week anyway, but it makes me feel better.

The end

33 Weeks Today!

I can't believe I'm already at 33 weeks. It's crazy how fast this pregnancy has gone by. It's wierd because the date "October 4th" (my due date) sounds like it's forever away, but it's NOT! It's only 7 weeks from now. I'm starting to freak out just a tad.

There are a few things that need to be done before this baby enters the world (not to mention exits me). One big one is that the entire house has to be clean. I don't even remember the last time the whole house was clean all at once. It was probably in the same week we moved in, almost 4 years ago.

We have to get a dresser from Sarah and Rob for the baby's clothing. She is living out of bins for now. Luckily, she doesn't need to wear clothes yet.

I really would like to have the upstairs carpets steam cleaned too, but I'm kind of incapable of doing so. I almost passed out this morning from cleaning the toilet. Too much bending over the lump in the middle of my body. Kinda takes the breath right outta ya. Josh will have to do that if he can find the time.

The biggest thing though is that I need to get this baby facing the right way. I was told at my appointment last week that she is head down (thank God) but facing up, or towards my front. Since I'm delivering at home, there is no room for added pain. With posterior deliveries, there is a TON of back pain and usually takes longer to push. I don't want anything to do with either. So think thoughts of flipping for me please.

My Top 5 Desert Island Movies (with electricity and stuff)

Okie dokie...so Ashley posted a blog with her top 5 desert island movies and I thought it would be fun to do the same. So, I copy.

I do have one repeat too.

Pulp Fiction- one of the greatest movies ever made. As Ashley said, Tarantino can be an idiot, but mostly because he can't act worth a damn. As long as his character isn't too prominent in the movie, it's good stuff. I own this one and was just saying yesterday that it's one of the few movies I could watch just about anytime it's on. Favorite scene is when Mia Wallace dances around the living room to "Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon". Great direction and editing, her feet are dirty when she stops and puts her foot up. Very realistic. Anyway....

Big Lebowski- some of the funniest dialogue you'll ever hear. There are too many reasons to love this movie, but I'll just stick to one. "Don't f*$# with the Jesus".

The Nightmare Before Christmas- beautiful movie with beautiful songs. Just the thought of this movie makes me feel good. I love the characters and the story is so original. Favorite part is when Jack comes back from Christmastown and tries to describe Christmas to his entire town. They totally don't get it, but they're so innocent and sweet about it.

Donnie Darko- God I love this movie. Partly because it's a really good movie, partly because it has really good music and mostly because it has Jake Gyllenhaal. Best part is when he stands up to the crazy speaker, played by Patrick Swayze, in the school auditorium. Awesome.

The Breakfast Club- oldie, but goodie. I know every freaking line to the entire movie, so I don't actually have any good reason to ever watch it again, but I could watch it right now. Ya know? Best part is when John Bender tells Brian Johnson about what his father says to him. "Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk. You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful. Shut up bitch. Go fix me a turkey pot pie. No dad, what about you? Fuck you. No dad, what about you? Fuck you. Dad, what about you? Fuck you." And then he dramatically punches at the air so his hair falls in his eyes. Oh yes.

So there are my top 5. What are yours?

The Committee

That's what my father in law calls my Home Owners' Association ever since they threatened to have him towed because he was "illegally parked" in front of our house for about 10 minutes. There are so many stupid rules that no one abides by, but they are still there and it pisses me off. We OWN our home.

Well, we have new officers now. Josh is one of them. (hahahahahaha) He got elected while we were in Seattle last month and is now the HOA secretary. It's just too funny. He will do a great job, assuming he accepts his position, but it's still funny.

Last night, while the airshow fireworks were going on, I was outside talking to one of my neighbors. She was recounting the meeting we missed (the one where Josh was elected secretary...hahahahaha) and was telling me about our crazy neighbors three doors down. Apparently they have a camera on the front of their house to watch us. Us being the neighborhood, not me and Josh specifically. We were thinking of things to do to this camera. Josh's idea was to paintball it and I think we should moon it. Any more suggestions would be great.

PS The damn crickets are chirping again. I thought they were cured of that as they hadn't made a peep in months. Stupid crickets.

PPS This picture just cracks me up. It has nothing to do with anything.

Thriller!

You all may have seen this already, but it's worth watching again. This is what inmates should be doing in the US instead of lifting weights. Maybe it would humble them a bit. :)

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=879021&fr=yvmtf

Body World

Wow. What an experience. If you haven't already been to OMSI for the Bodyworld exhibit, go. Go now. It was amazing, to say the least.

There were a few things that stood out for me. One was the very first piece in the exhibit, the skin man. He was a regular looking guy, about 5'9" maybe. The wierd thing was that instead of wearing his skin, he was holding it. In his hands. It looked like a skin blanket and all I could think of was that scene in Silence of the Lambs, where Buffalo Bill is wearing the skin suit from his victims.

Another thing that pretty much freaked me out was the dude who was doing the splits, in all his naked (skinless) glory and was holding his own internal organs like a trophy above his head. Hmmm, interesting.

I think the wierdest display was the one of the central nervous system. There's no way to accurately describe it, so I found a picture. It's not a very good one, but I promise, it was really cool.

There was one more thing that really stood out. They had a glass box with two sets of lungs, one of a nonsmoker and one of a smoker. It showed that only 20 cigarettes a day (sounds like a lot to a nonsmoker, but that's just a pack a day) made these lungs almost completely black. The healthy ones were more of a creamy color. Right next to the display, there was a box where you could commit to quit smoking. It was almost full with business card size notes saying things like, "I will never smoke again, Dan" or "I will never try!-Jenny". There were also more than ten or so packs of cigarettes in there with the notes. Pretty moving, I thought.

At the end of the visit, we made our way to the fetal development exhibit, which is part of the regular everyday museum, but is amazing nonetheless. Turns out, it was done by the same guy who did the bodyworld stuff. It was really cool to see a 31 week old baby, which is how far along I am right now and how far along Emily was when she delivered Molly. What a miracle, no one's going to argue with me that God had nothing to do with all of that!

Anyway, if you have a free day and $21 bucks, it's totally worth the money and time, but don't bring kids. I'm glad I didn't. I can just imagine the questions they would have for the rest of their lives about what they would have seen.

No Impact Man

Saw something cool last night on tv, which is a rare occurence as most of tv is a waste of time and brain power. There was a special report on Nightline about this family who has decided to do an experiment for an entire year to see if they can live without making any or as little as possible of a footprint on the earth. This means NO electricity in their small New York apartment and no cars or public transportation. They ride their scooters (foot powered) and walk everywhere, including up many flights of stairs. See, elevators use electricity... Laundry involves them and their little girl, about 3 years old, stomping on the dirty clothes in the bathtub.

The hardest part for me to fathom is that they don't throw any trash away! They only buy things that come in reusable jars or without packaging. And with no refrigerator, they spend a heck of a lot of time at their local farmers' market, filling their reusable canvas bags.

It was really neat to see people with such a strong conviction to make a difference. I wish I could be that brave. There's no way I could do something that extreme. I'm already the crazy hippie in the family, like that wouldn't freak 'em out...

Anyway, here's a link to his blog. There's a lot more to the story, but you should read it for yourself if you are so inspired. http://noimpactman.typepad.com/blog/ What do you think?

Freaky-ass Moths

Last night, in the unbearable heat, we decided to go to the second movie of the day. Earlier yesterday morning, we joined our neighbors at the free kids movie at the Movies on TV theater. Monster House, which we've seen numerous times, was still hilarious. After going to lunch and making a bunch of Avon runs, we hooked up with Sarah and Audrey at the St. John's Theater to see Ratatouille. It was WONDERFUL. I love heeem, the rat that is. I would totally have a rat like that.

When the movie was over, it was still incredibly hot, so we meandered over to the Thompsons' house for some backyard kiddie pool action. The kids stripped down to undies and splashed while Sarah and I sat and laughed at Jack. He was eating/gulping down rice cereal and broccoli. Good thing he doesn't know how disgusting that is.

So...we left St. John's around 8:30 and made our way home. When we hit the bottom of Germantown, we realized we were in some sort of plague. The bugs were hitting our windshield so fast and furiously that it sounded like rain. I actually had to use my windshield wipers in order to see. When we got home, I ushered the kids inside as fast as I could, to avoid eating the bugs in the air. Josh was sitting at the table when we flung the door open. I said, "there's a plague outside, keep the doors shut". He wasn't really all that worried, but he's a boy.

At 5:45 this morning (I know) Hayden came running into my room yelling that there were 4 HUGE moths in the hallway. Come to find out, he's not the best with numbers...there were approximately 25 dead moths on the floor throughout my bedroom and the hallway. Ew. The worst part is that I'm not allowed to lift anything heavy, the vacuum included. I can't even suck the little buggers up because the vacuum is downstairs and the corpses are up.

The Couch.

Ok, here is the cowgirl red couch. I of course wouldn't have those nasty ass black pillows or the ugly glass table or rug. I'm thinking red and white striped pillows or something of that nature. Also, a cream rug and no coffee table.

It's really comfy and big enough for Josh to lay out on all the way. (something us shorties don't have to think about. He doesn't fit on either of our couches now.)

That being said...Whaddya think?

Some Pig

Ah, pregnancy. I saw this cartoon right after nearly peeing in my pants from sneezing. Yes, I felt radiant. Funny thing is, I seem to remember that Charlotte spun the word "radiant" over Wilbur in Charlotte's Web. Fitting.

We spent most of the day today searching for furniture. We found the perfect leather sectional at Dania. Only problem is the colors. They offer it in black and red. I LOVE love love the red, but Josh isn't sure. He's kinda freaked about a red couch, understandably (did I just make up that word?). We both agree that a black leather couch makes a statment we don't want to make. We'll see what happens.

In the earlier parts of the day, we went to Jackson's first birthday party at the skate park. He thoroughly enjoyed his chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. He was actually shaking and flapping his arms. At one point, he just leaned forward and started eating it off the high chair tray.

Before that, we went to a "not so secret shop" at a Fred Meyer in Portland. We met up with some uber hippies and learned about genetically engineered foods. They split us up into groups and had us fill a basket with items we would usually buy. Then we regrouped in the wine section and found out how terrible the ingredients in those foods are. It was kind of eye opening to see that even the things I thought were safe might not be. It was also fun to go pretend shopping with Josh and Aaron.

Lauren's BFF Lili is spending the night tonight. They are currently dressed up in the gawdiest dress up Lauren owns. There is a lot of toulle and sequin action going on. I'm just waiting for the lip gloss to come out. Silly girls. :)

Josh and Hayden are watching Lonesome Dove on tv. Hayden just told Josh that he really likes cowboy movies and then asked if there was going to be any shooting in it. So cute.

Whidbey Island

We are on VACATION!!! I know, I'm sitting here on my laptop on vacation. To my defense, so are James and Scott. We are all sitting in the living room geeking out. Earlier, it was Josh, Dad and Jon. Hilarious, I must say.

This house is unbelievable. There are 7 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. 4 floors of beautifully furnished and decorated luxury. I sound like an ad, but it's true. Every year, our family vacation gets a little better. And that's saying alot because the first one was a cruise, the second one was Leavenworth and last year was Lincoln City. The cruise was spectacular. Leavenworth was magical. Lincoln City was frightening out of my mind. But that was just the threat of the ocean coming in through the windows. The house was incredible and we had a really good time. This year has somehow managed to be the most breathtaking place we've gone. We are literally ON the water, (but not the ocean) overlooking a beautiful bay. There's a pool table in the house, a hot tub on one of the 4 decks and flat screen tvs in every room. The bathrooms are even gorgeous.

Oh yes, this will be a goooood week.

PS The picture is of mine and Josh's bedroom. Jealous?

Pencil Man!

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=531504&fr=yvmtf

Go here. It's really cute.

Duh!

Ok, so I really couldn't feel more dumb. Yesterday was Lauren's last day of school, or so I thought. I went to pick her up, all ready to hug her and congratulate her for finishing Kindergarten. I saw her teacher standing there, looking tired and I said, "you must be relieved". She said, "why?" so I said, "because you're done!" She said, "well we still have one more day in the classroom and then field day on Thursday. Did you think it was the last day?"

Yes, yes I did... I don't know where exactly the lines got crossed, but they did, and I'm dumb. So next week is the big day. Tuesday, she has school, then Thursday they have an optional field day. Not a clue what that means, but I'm sure she's going.

It's kinda bumming me out because I thought I was done getting up at the crack of dawn to get her out the door. We are also leaving for our vacation next Friday and I was really looking forward to not being rushed to get packed and ready. Oh well, it will make this vacation even more relaxing.

Anyway, wish us luck on the next 48 hours. It's going to be a whirlwind, but it will be so worth it! Congratulations to Haley and Andrew on graduating from highschool!!! We are all so proud!

Sleepless in Hillsboro

It's almost 4 am and I've been wide awake for about an hour now. I woke up crying and shaking, my heart pounding out of my chest from a dream. I won't go into the details of the dream, but I assure you that an hour later, it's still freaking me out. I feel like a little kid, afraid to go back to sleep because I know I'll just see those images again. Ugh.

So I've been catching up on emails, reading all the "latest" on myspace and browsing baby stuff online. I'm thinking I should get back in bed now. The alarm is set for 7am and I've got a busy day ahead of me. Both kids have school and I have to clean the house and shop for a party tonight. Ta ta.

The picture has nothing to do with the post. I just needed to share how freaking genius it is.

Africa Hot

It's really freakin' hot today. We got the dumpster delivered to our house today so I really should be outside working in the yard. I refuse.
That's all I have for you today. Too hot.

It's a Girl!!

I realized that I hadn't shared my news with every single person in the universe yet. We're having a girl! Our ultrasound was two weeks ago and the guy confirmed that we don't make good guesses. We were convinced it was a boy, had started calling "it" by the name we had for a boy. Josh would ask me a few times a day how the boy was doing and without hesitation, I would say that he was doing great. I apologize to my sweet unborn baby girl.

If I was a computer whiz and happened to have access to a scanner, I would post a picture of the ultrasound. Let me assure you that it's a good 'un. She's precious, even in black and white.

Last night was Hayden's last teeball game. I already miss it. He was so freakin' cute too. Both sets of grandparents showed up for the game. We were all cheering for him at one point while he was running from third to home. I wish I had been able to capture the look on his face at that moment. It was pure determination. He was running so hard and then did the single lamest slide I've ever seen. He landed directly on his butt with absolutely no sliding. When he stood up, he was so proud and wouldn't smile at us. He was all business, it was fantastic.

Oregonians, Here is Your Challenge

Fabulous! I am loving this blogger thing more every day. I started blogging because I would tell Amy funny things that the kids said or did and she would repeatedly tell me that I needed to write it down, specifically in a blog. I assumed she would be the only one reading it. Now it is so much more than that. There are people who I talk to more on this blog than in "real" life. It's such a brilliant way to keep in touch.

I got a myspace message from my cousin Nikki today. She started her own blog (see Nikki Troll at right). Nikki lives in Arizona **tear** with her husband and son. We haven't actually seen each other in years, but she reads all of our blogs to keep up with our daily/weekly/monthly goings on. She has told me several times how cool it is to check in on us all. I am so excited to do the same with her.

Now is where the challenge comes in...people of Oregon, you are commanded to lure Nikki to move here. She is weak, I know it. They will cave eventually. I sure as hell am not moving to Arizona, that is all I can say, so the only other choice is to get her here. The next step (I am way ahead of myself) is to get her brother John to move here too. Okay, go.

Oh, and in case you're wondering what the picture is, it's my first suggestion to Nikki. This is the desert, Oregon is much prettier. :)

Poop Hole

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Poop hole? Sarah's gone mad. Nope, that's just what Lauren and Hayden call our new toy. Well, it's not really a toy, but it is pretty cool. We ordered a Doggie Dooley Toilet 3500. Sounds pretty nifty, eh? It's a plastic bucket you bury in a hole in your lawn. (See diagram 1)The hinged lid pops up with your foot and you insert the dog poop. Then you add water and this crazy enzyme mixture that is supposed to turn the poop into liquid so it can seep out into your grass. Gross, huh? I can't wait to use it.

So on that same note, we're finally working on the backyard. This Saturday we are having the truck deliver our cement for the patio. It's going to look so nice. Then we will put down sod around the patio as soon as the cement is dry and ready to walk on. Party at our house as soon as the project is complete! We will have a backyard!!!

Well, I have some really important stuff to take care of now. I HAVE to watch some Entourage before falling asleep. I know, poor me, right? I do so much for the greater good.

Oh, and this is a picture of the Backyardigans, from Nick Jr. They are just damn cute and fit with the backyard theme. The pink one is named Uniqua. Oh yeah.

Notpron is the Devil

So if you haven't already read it on Jon's blog, go here: www.notpron.com. You will waste time, I guarantee it. I am on level 11 and just about ready to have a stroke. It makes me feel dumber than ever. (I'm aware that dumber isn't a word)

Aside from that, today was a good day. I saw a good friend who I haven't hung out with in FAR too long. We had lunch at Juan Colorado's and then came back to my house to catch up. It was good to see her and I will be sure to keep in better touch.

My baby sister, who's not a baby, had a softball game today. When she was up at bat, the freakin' pitcher nailed her right in the thumb. I know deep down that that girl was out to get her. She's a meanie. Anyway, her thumb nail ripped off and she may have broken something. No good, her last game is this Friday. After that, she will join the ranks in the unathletic post high school group. (me) I can't believe she's graduating in a month. It reminds me of how long I've been out of school and that makes me feel ANCIENT. Oh well, so is the circle of life.

Sorry this was the LAMEST blog entry yet. I have nothing funny to say. Except for this: What's the difference between a musical instrument and a fish? You can't tuna fish. (Thank you Trader Joe's juice box)

Creepiness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Oij377lgzs

You've probably seen this, but I randomly got it stuck in my head the other night and it won't go away.
Anyway, it's funny.

Kicks!

I felt the baby move last night. It was for sure the baby this time. About a week or so ago, I felt something, but it turns out it was probably just gas. Attractive, eh? Seriously, pregnancy causes a ridiculous and almost inhuman amount of gas, so it's easy to mistake a pending fart for your baby. But it really was the little soccer player this time and it was really cool.

Today was my prenatal appointment too. We got to hear the heartbeat again, only much louder and clearer this time. The kids and my mom came with me. It was awesome to have her there and the kids really got a kick out of hearing "their" baby. They promptly lost any sort of interest and went into the hallway to color.

While we were in the appointment, the midwife suggested showing some kind of book or video to the kids to prepare them for the birth. She gave me a dvd and book combo that shows some incredibly wierd pictures. One has a little boy, about 5ish with his head under his mom's butt, apparently awaiting his new brother. I don't want anyone's head that close to my butt. Ever.

I think when the time comes, we will just play it by ear and see if the kids are allowed in the room during the actual birth. They will probably be much happier downstairs with my dad, brother and other banished men anyway.

PS The picture is the ugliest baby on the planet. Thank God it's only a cartoon.

What a Weekend!

We had Molly for the weekend. I love her so much and she is one of the funniest kids I've ever known. That being said, she is almost 2 and you probably know what that means. She's bipolar. I remember when Lauren was that age, she would go from happy and smiling to screaming and throwing things in a matter of 2 seconds, with absolutely no provoking. It really is pretty humorous after the initial shock. It was a good weekend for us, a constant reminder of where we'll be in about 2 years. Whew, we're starting all over again.

I have to give Molly some credit though, we made her go go go all weekend. We started out Friday night by being the responsible adults we know we can be. She had a wholesome dinner, a bath and was in bed by 8pm. Yes, that is the way you are SUPPOSED to take care of a toddler.

Saturday morning, it all turned to crap. We had to have Hayden at his game to warm up by 10:30am. Josh took him, while I got the girls ready and headed to the store to buy a birthday gift for Lauren's classmate. We somehow made it to the game, present in the car, by 11:20. We then headed to Chipotle for lunch with Josh's parents and then directly to the birthday party, arriving only 20 minutes late. Molly did really well at the party, playing with all the 6 year olds and eating cake. When she'd had enough, we went home. She took a 2 1/2 hour nap and then we were off again! The kids spent the night with Josh's family and we stayed there for pizza. She didn't get to bed until almost 10 that night, poor baby.

So besides the random aversion to Josh, the crayon on the back of my couch and the cheerios and milk all over the floor, we had a pretty good weekend! But it's nice to be back to our "quiet" house again.

Mmm, botulism anyone?

So, I have a funny story. You may not think it's funny, but I do. And that's all that really matters.

I was making enchiladas for dinner the other night, which really didn't sound good to me, but hey, it's food. We were waiting patiently for it to finish cooking when I get the wierdest phone call I've ever received. My neighbor, who I've only spoken to a few times and I didn't know she had my phone number...called. She was calling to offer me her leftover chicken wings. I thought it was strange, but kind of nice. She said she was going to just toss them if I didn't want them, so I said, "I'll take 'em!"

I went over to her house to retrieve my leftover wings. When she opened the door, I noticed that she has absolutely NO furniture in her house. There was a gigantic computer desk and a dining room table, that's it. But what was wierder is that she didn't give me cooked chicken, but a plasic bag full of RAW chicken wings, skin and tips intact. Ewwwwwww.

I didn't want to waste them, so I went home and made a really yummy marinade and let them soak for the next 24 hours. It made a sweet dinner for the next night, but I was pretty sure we were all going to die from some freaky chicken disease. We didn't.

Deep Thoughts to Doughnuts

Last night, we watched an incredibly well done and entirely disturbing movie. It's called "Downfall" and it's the story of Hitler's last days told by his personal secretary. It's in German, with English subtitles, so watching it with my glasses was a little hard. (old prescription) But I really do recommend the movie. It actually had me crying. I don't cry in movies, ever. There is a scene towards the end where everyone is pretty much desperate. The Russians are just around the corner and the Germans have no way out. Hitler and close friends and associates have hunkered down in a bunker under Berlin, planning to kill themselves if the Germans lose. They all pretty much deserve what's coming to them, but there is a woman with her 5 children with them.

I just kept thinking about how wierd it is to me for someone to commit suicide for honor. I don't really get it. I always think about that when watching something to do with Samurai too. It seems so pathetic, rather than honorable to shoot yourself in the head to get out of having to deal with what you're up against. Basically, these are my deep thoughts for the day. There, I'm going to have another doughnut.

PS. The picture is a genuine Hitler Teapot. Wow.

Educational Programming

For any of you who have children, you probably know what I'm talking about when I say that there is nothing good left for kids to watch. I'm not particularly worried about it being appropriate for them, I let my kids watch Nacho Libre, Napoleon Dynamite, Wayne's World and School of Rock over and over again. What I am worried about is the subliminal messages coming from the shows on OPB. You know, the ones they are supposed to be watching? For example, there's a show called "Big Big World" on at 10am (I think). It's a freakshow I tell you. The main character is a sloth named Snook with the voice of someone who sounds suspiciously like Keanu Reeves. He sounds high and talks about how slowly he moves throughout the whole show. Then there's an egomaniac bird named Birdette (yes, very original) who constantly talks about how beautiful she is. Ugh, and I thought Barney was evil.

The only show left with any worth is "Jakers". If you haven't seen it yet, make a date some weekday morning to watch it. It cracks me up. It's about a bunch of little kids who happen to be a bull, a duck and a pig. Yeah, that's a likely grouping. Anyway, they all happen to be Scottish too. Hilarious.

On a completely unrelated note, Lauren is pretty sure she's been part of a major crime scene investigation. She keeps telling Hayden about the "cops" at Nordstrom Rack. We were shoe shopping during Hayden's class today. As we were getting into the car we saw about 5 or 6 police cars pull up with their lights on and a bunch of German Shepherd wielding cops jumped out. It was pretty obvious that some serious crap was going down. I assured her that they had it under control, but she wanted me to "speed away" as she put it. So I did. It wasn't like there were any cops available to pull me over anyway. She got a kick out of it.

Play Ball!

It's been awhile since my last post. I'd love to tell you that I've had a lot of interesting things going on and that I have so much to fill you all in on. I don't, not really. What has been keeping me from my blogging is the softball/teeball that is taking over my life. Hayden and Lauren are playing and there are 4 games/practices to take them to (and stay at) every week. It's a little much but it's so worth it to see them out there playing baseball. It's freaking adorable.

And since I know you're dying to know about how my pregnancy is going, who isn't? Oh, well since you asked...it's going great! I am not sick anymore, which is definitely a relief. I have my appetite back, only it's for the wierdest crap. I went into Albertson's tonight to pick up something for dinner and came out with (no, I'm not kidding) 2 Totino's pizzas, 2 tubes of Pringles, a block of Tillamook cheese, a box of granola bars and a lb of butter. Josh just looked at me and didn't say a thing. We are having mac n' cheese and pizzas for dinner tonight. It won't kill us.

That is all I have to say about that. Yeah, you can call me Forest, Forest Gump.

It's Alive!!

Swishashwishaswhisha...that's what we heard yesterday. That would be the sound of the baby's heartbeat. What an awesome thing, even if it did take about 5 minutes to finally hear it. I was starting to get really nervous when she found the little sucker at last. That little sucker is approximately the size of a peach now, for those of you who gave me crap about the food comparisons. Food is all I can think about, so it's fitting.

All in all, our first appointment was great. The midwives are very nice and knowledgable. I feel just as safe, if not more so, than I did with my previous pregnancies. This whole crazy thing should be fun!

On another, completely unrelated note, we are going to see Allison Krauss and the Union Station at the Edgefield in July! Weee! I really like them, but Josh is freaking in love with her. He told me he's so excited he thinks he might pee. I really hope he doesn't. We are going with my parents and hopefully James and Ashley. We're going to spend the night too, I can't wait! I told them I will be their designated walker, since we won't have to drive anywhere. Ashley said I will be responsible for making sure she walks in a semi-straight line. It's good to have purpose.

Sap Alert...

I had a really wierd day yesterday.

A very good friend of mine is going through a divorce. Her bastard "husband" was unfaithful to her and makes a very good case for castration. He was a friend of mine and Josh's as well as just her husband so on some level (small in comparison) it affected us all.

Yesterday, I helped my friend get the rest of her things from their house. She's been moved out for about a year and this was the first time she'd been back or seen him. She asked me to go with her because he wanted to be there when she came over. It was awful. I'm glad I was able to help in some way because I can't even imagine the kind of pit she had in her stomache if mine was as bad as it was. We got there and he acted like nothing had happened. I wanted to kick him in the nuts and scream at him, "You ruined everything!" But I didn't and I tried to make small talk with him while she figured out just what she was taking with her. When I noticed that she wasn't holding up very well, it really hit me just what we were doing there and I felt like I was going to puke. I managed to hold it together until I got in the car and then started sobbing. Luckily I was alone and she never saw me cry. I called Josh just to tell him how much I love him and how lucky I am to have him.

I know, nothing amusing in here today. Just had to get that out and hopefully inspire you guys to be good to eachother. Or I will come after you...