Body World

Wow. What an experience. If you haven't already been to OMSI for the Bodyworld exhibit, go. Go now. It was amazing, to say the least.

There were a few things that stood out for me. One was the very first piece in the exhibit, the skin man. He was a regular looking guy, about 5'9" maybe. The wierd thing was that instead of wearing his skin, he was holding it. In his hands. It looked like a skin blanket and all I could think of was that scene in Silence of the Lambs, where Buffalo Bill is wearing the skin suit from his victims.

Another thing that pretty much freaked me out was the dude who was doing the splits, in all his naked (skinless) glory and was holding his own internal organs like a trophy above his head. Hmmm, interesting.

I think the wierdest display was the one of the central nervous system. There's no way to accurately describe it, so I found a picture. It's not a very good one, but I promise, it was really cool.

There was one more thing that really stood out. They had a glass box with two sets of lungs, one of a nonsmoker and one of a smoker. It showed that only 20 cigarettes a day (sounds like a lot to a nonsmoker, but that's just a pack a day) made these lungs almost completely black. The healthy ones were more of a creamy color. Right next to the display, there was a box where you could commit to quit smoking. It was almost full with business card size notes saying things like, "I will never smoke again, Dan" or "I will never try!-Jenny". There were also more than ten or so packs of cigarettes in there with the notes. Pretty moving, I thought.

At the end of the visit, we made our way to the fetal development exhibit, which is part of the regular everyday museum, but is amazing nonetheless. Turns out, it was done by the same guy who did the bodyworld stuff. It was really cool to see a 31 week old baby, which is how far along I am right now and how far along Emily was when she delivered Molly. What a miracle, no one's going to argue with me that God had nothing to do with all of that!

Anyway, if you have a free day and $21 bucks, it's totally worth the money and time, but don't bring kids. I'm glad I didn't. I can just imagine the questions they would have for the rest of their lives about what they would have seen.

No Impact Man

Saw something cool last night on tv, which is a rare occurence as most of tv is a waste of time and brain power. There was a special report on Nightline about this family who has decided to do an experiment for an entire year to see if they can live without making any or as little as possible of a footprint on the earth. This means NO electricity in their small New York apartment and no cars or public transportation. They ride their scooters (foot powered) and walk everywhere, including up many flights of stairs. See, elevators use electricity... Laundry involves them and their little girl, about 3 years old, stomping on the dirty clothes in the bathtub.

The hardest part for me to fathom is that they don't throw any trash away! They only buy things that come in reusable jars or without packaging. And with no refrigerator, they spend a heck of a lot of time at their local farmers' market, filling their reusable canvas bags.

It was really neat to see people with such a strong conviction to make a difference. I wish I could be that brave. There's no way I could do something that extreme. I'm already the crazy hippie in the family, like that wouldn't freak 'em out...

Anyway, here's a link to his blog. There's a lot more to the story, but you should read it for yourself if you are so inspired. http://noimpactman.typepad.com/blog/ What do you think?

Freaky-ass Moths

Last night, in the unbearable heat, we decided to go to the second movie of the day. Earlier yesterday morning, we joined our neighbors at the free kids movie at the Movies on TV theater. Monster House, which we've seen numerous times, was still hilarious. After going to lunch and making a bunch of Avon runs, we hooked up with Sarah and Audrey at the St. John's Theater to see Ratatouille. It was WONDERFUL. I love heeem, the rat that is. I would totally have a rat like that.

When the movie was over, it was still incredibly hot, so we meandered over to the Thompsons' house for some backyard kiddie pool action. The kids stripped down to undies and splashed while Sarah and I sat and laughed at Jack. He was eating/gulping down rice cereal and broccoli. Good thing he doesn't know how disgusting that is.

So...we left St. John's around 8:30 and made our way home. When we hit the bottom of Germantown, we realized we were in some sort of plague. The bugs were hitting our windshield so fast and furiously that it sounded like rain. I actually had to use my windshield wipers in order to see. When we got home, I ushered the kids inside as fast as I could, to avoid eating the bugs in the air. Josh was sitting at the table when we flung the door open. I said, "there's a plague outside, keep the doors shut". He wasn't really all that worried, but he's a boy.

At 5:45 this morning (I know) Hayden came running into my room yelling that there were 4 HUGE moths in the hallway. Come to find out, he's not the best with numbers...there were approximately 25 dead moths on the floor throughout my bedroom and the hallway. Ew. The worst part is that I'm not allowed to lift anything heavy, the vacuum included. I can't even suck the little buggers up because the vacuum is downstairs and the corpses are up.

The Couch.

Ok, here is the cowgirl red couch. I of course wouldn't have those nasty ass black pillows or the ugly glass table or rug. I'm thinking red and white striped pillows or something of that nature. Also, a cream rug and no coffee table.

It's really comfy and big enough for Josh to lay out on all the way. (something us shorties don't have to think about. He doesn't fit on either of our couches now.)

That being said...Whaddya think?

Some Pig

Ah, pregnancy. I saw this cartoon right after nearly peeing in my pants from sneezing. Yes, I felt radiant. Funny thing is, I seem to remember that Charlotte spun the word "radiant" over Wilbur in Charlotte's Web. Fitting.

We spent most of the day today searching for furniture. We found the perfect leather sectional at Dania. Only problem is the colors. They offer it in black and red. I LOVE love love the red, but Josh isn't sure. He's kinda freaked about a red couch, understandably (did I just make up that word?). We both agree that a black leather couch makes a statment we don't want to make. We'll see what happens.

In the earlier parts of the day, we went to Jackson's first birthday party at the skate park. He thoroughly enjoyed his chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. He was actually shaking and flapping his arms. At one point, he just leaned forward and started eating it off the high chair tray.

Before that, we went to a "not so secret shop" at a Fred Meyer in Portland. We met up with some uber hippies and learned about genetically engineered foods. They split us up into groups and had us fill a basket with items we would usually buy. Then we regrouped in the wine section and found out how terrible the ingredients in those foods are. It was kind of eye opening to see that even the things I thought were safe might not be. It was also fun to go pretend shopping with Josh and Aaron.

Lauren's BFF Lili is spending the night tonight. They are currently dressed up in the gawdiest dress up Lauren owns. There is a lot of toulle and sequin action going on. I'm just waiting for the lip gloss to come out. Silly girls. :)

Josh and Hayden are watching Lonesome Dove on tv. Hayden just told Josh that he really likes cowboy movies and then asked if there was going to be any shooting in it. So cute.

Whidbey Island

We are on VACATION!!! I know, I'm sitting here on my laptop on vacation. To my defense, so are James and Scott. We are all sitting in the living room geeking out. Earlier, it was Josh, Dad and Jon. Hilarious, I must say.

This house is unbelievable. There are 7 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. 4 floors of beautifully furnished and decorated luxury. I sound like an ad, but it's true. Every year, our family vacation gets a little better. And that's saying alot because the first one was a cruise, the second one was Leavenworth and last year was Lincoln City. The cruise was spectacular. Leavenworth was magical. Lincoln City was frightening out of my mind. But that was just the threat of the ocean coming in through the windows. The house was incredible and we had a really good time. This year has somehow managed to be the most breathtaking place we've gone. We are literally ON the water, (but not the ocean) overlooking a beautiful bay. There's a pool table in the house, a hot tub on one of the 4 decks and flat screen tvs in every room. The bathrooms are even gorgeous.

Oh yes, this will be a goooood week.

PS The picture is of mine and Josh's bedroom. Jealous?

Pencil Man!

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=531504&fr=yvmtf

Go here. It's really cute.

Duh!

Ok, so I really couldn't feel more dumb. Yesterday was Lauren's last day of school, or so I thought. I went to pick her up, all ready to hug her and congratulate her for finishing Kindergarten. I saw her teacher standing there, looking tired and I said, "you must be relieved". She said, "why?" so I said, "because you're done!" She said, "well we still have one more day in the classroom and then field day on Thursday. Did you think it was the last day?"

Yes, yes I did... I don't know where exactly the lines got crossed, but they did, and I'm dumb. So next week is the big day. Tuesday, she has school, then Thursday they have an optional field day. Not a clue what that means, but I'm sure she's going.

It's kinda bumming me out because I thought I was done getting up at the crack of dawn to get her out the door. We are also leaving for our vacation next Friday and I was really looking forward to not being rushed to get packed and ready. Oh well, it will make this vacation even more relaxing.

Anyway, wish us luck on the next 48 hours. It's going to be a whirlwind, but it will be so worth it! Congratulations to Haley and Andrew on graduating from highschool!!! We are all so proud!

Sleepless in Hillsboro

It's almost 4 am and I've been wide awake for about an hour now. I woke up crying and shaking, my heart pounding out of my chest from a dream. I won't go into the details of the dream, but I assure you that an hour later, it's still freaking me out. I feel like a little kid, afraid to go back to sleep because I know I'll just see those images again. Ugh.

So I've been catching up on emails, reading all the "latest" on myspace and browsing baby stuff online. I'm thinking I should get back in bed now. The alarm is set for 7am and I've got a busy day ahead of me. Both kids have school and I have to clean the house and shop for a party tonight. Ta ta.

The picture has nothing to do with the post. I just needed to share how freaking genius it is.

Africa Hot

It's really freakin' hot today. We got the dumpster delivered to our house today so I really should be outside working in the yard. I refuse.
That's all I have for you today. Too hot.

It's a Girl!!

I realized that I hadn't shared my news with every single person in the universe yet. We're having a girl! Our ultrasound was two weeks ago and the guy confirmed that we don't make good guesses. We were convinced it was a boy, had started calling "it" by the name we had for a boy. Josh would ask me a few times a day how the boy was doing and without hesitation, I would say that he was doing great. I apologize to my sweet unborn baby girl.

If I was a computer whiz and happened to have access to a scanner, I would post a picture of the ultrasound. Let me assure you that it's a good 'un. She's precious, even in black and white.

Last night was Hayden's last teeball game. I already miss it. He was so freakin' cute too. Both sets of grandparents showed up for the game. We were all cheering for him at one point while he was running from third to home. I wish I had been able to capture the look on his face at that moment. It was pure determination. He was running so hard and then did the single lamest slide I've ever seen. He landed directly on his butt with absolutely no sliding. When he stood up, he was so proud and wouldn't smile at us. He was all business, it was fantastic.

Oregonians, Here is Your Challenge

Fabulous! I am loving this blogger thing more every day. I started blogging because I would tell Amy funny things that the kids said or did and she would repeatedly tell me that I needed to write it down, specifically in a blog. I assumed she would be the only one reading it. Now it is so much more than that. There are people who I talk to more on this blog than in "real" life. It's such a brilliant way to keep in touch.

I got a myspace message from my cousin Nikki today. She started her own blog (see Nikki Troll at right). Nikki lives in Arizona **tear** with her husband and son. We haven't actually seen each other in years, but she reads all of our blogs to keep up with our daily/weekly/monthly goings on. She has told me several times how cool it is to check in on us all. I am so excited to do the same with her.

Now is where the challenge comes in...people of Oregon, you are commanded to lure Nikki to move here. She is weak, I know it. They will cave eventually. I sure as hell am not moving to Arizona, that is all I can say, so the only other choice is to get her here. The next step (I am way ahead of myself) is to get her brother John to move here too. Okay, go.

Oh, and in case you're wondering what the picture is, it's my first suggestion to Nikki. This is the desert, Oregon is much prettier. :)

Poop Hole

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Poop hole? Sarah's gone mad. Nope, that's just what Lauren and Hayden call our new toy. Well, it's not really a toy, but it is pretty cool. We ordered a Doggie Dooley Toilet 3500. Sounds pretty nifty, eh? It's a plastic bucket you bury in a hole in your lawn. (See diagram 1)The hinged lid pops up with your foot and you insert the dog poop. Then you add water and this crazy enzyme mixture that is supposed to turn the poop into liquid so it can seep out into your grass. Gross, huh? I can't wait to use it.

So on that same note, we're finally working on the backyard. This Saturday we are having the truck deliver our cement for the patio. It's going to look so nice. Then we will put down sod around the patio as soon as the cement is dry and ready to walk on. Party at our house as soon as the project is complete! We will have a backyard!!!

Well, I have some really important stuff to take care of now. I HAVE to watch some Entourage before falling asleep. I know, poor me, right? I do so much for the greater good.

Oh, and this is a picture of the Backyardigans, from Nick Jr. They are just damn cute and fit with the backyard theme. The pink one is named Uniqua. Oh yeah.

Notpron is the Devil

So if you haven't already read it on Jon's blog, go here: www.notpron.com. You will waste time, I guarantee it. I am on level 11 and just about ready to have a stroke. It makes me feel dumber than ever. (I'm aware that dumber isn't a word)

Aside from that, today was a good day. I saw a good friend who I haven't hung out with in FAR too long. We had lunch at Juan Colorado's and then came back to my house to catch up. It was good to see her and I will be sure to keep in better touch.

My baby sister, who's not a baby, had a softball game today. When she was up at bat, the freakin' pitcher nailed her right in the thumb. I know deep down that that girl was out to get her. She's a meanie. Anyway, her thumb nail ripped off and she may have broken something. No good, her last game is this Friday. After that, she will join the ranks in the unathletic post high school group. (me) I can't believe she's graduating in a month. It reminds me of how long I've been out of school and that makes me feel ANCIENT. Oh well, so is the circle of life.

Sorry this was the LAMEST blog entry yet. I have nothing funny to say. Except for this: What's the difference between a musical instrument and a fish? You can't tuna fish. (Thank you Trader Joe's juice box)

Creepiness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Oij377lgzs

You've probably seen this, but I randomly got it stuck in my head the other night and it won't go away.
Anyway, it's funny.

Kicks!

I felt the baby move last night. It was for sure the baby this time. About a week or so ago, I felt something, but it turns out it was probably just gas. Attractive, eh? Seriously, pregnancy causes a ridiculous and almost inhuman amount of gas, so it's easy to mistake a pending fart for your baby. But it really was the little soccer player this time and it was really cool.

Today was my prenatal appointment too. We got to hear the heartbeat again, only much louder and clearer this time. The kids and my mom came with me. It was awesome to have her there and the kids really got a kick out of hearing "their" baby. They promptly lost any sort of interest and went into the hallway to color.

While we were in the appointment, the midwife suggested showing some kind of book or video to the kids to prepare them for the birth. She gave me a dvd and book combo that shows some incredibly wierd pictures. One has a little boy, about 5ish with his head under his mom's butt, apparently awaiting his new brother. I don't want anyone's head that close to my butt. Ever.

I think when the time comes, we will just play it by ear and see if the kids are allowed in the room during the actual birth. They will probably be much happier downstairs with my dad, brother and other banished men anyway.

PS The picture is the ugliest baby on the planet. Thank God it's only a cartoon.

What a Weekend!

We had Molly for the weekend. I love her so much and she is one of the funniest kids I've ever known. That being said, she is almost 2 and you probably know what that means. She's bipolar. I remember when Lauren was that age, she would go from happy and smiling to screaming and throwing things in a matter of 2 seconds, with absolutely no provoking. It really is pretty humorous after the initial shock. It was a good weekend for us, a constant reminder of where we'll be in about 2 years. Whew, we're starting all over again.

I have to give Molly some credit though, we made her go go go all weekend. We started out Friday night by being the responsible adults we know we can be. She had a wholesome dinner, a bath and was in bed by 8pm. Yes, that is the way you are SUPPOSED to take care of a toddler.

Saturday morning, it all turned to crap. We had to have Hayden at his game to warm up by 10:30am. Josh took him, while I got the girls ready and headed to the store to buy a birthday gift for Lauren's classmate. We somehow made it to the game, present in the car, by 11:20. We then headed to Chipotle for lunch with Josh's parents and then directly to the birthday party, arriving only 20 minutes late. Molly did really well at the party, playing with all the 6 year olds and eating cake. When she'd had enough, we went home. She took a 2 1/2 hour nap and then we were off again! The kids spent the night with Josh's family and we stayed there for pizza. She didn't get to bed until almost 10 that night, poor baby.

So besides the random aversion to Josh, the crayon on the back of my couch and the cheerios and milk all over the floor, we had a pretty good weekend! But it's nice to be back to our "quiet" house again.

Mmm, botulism anyone?

So, I have a funny story. You may not think it's funny, but I do. And that's all that really matters.

I was making enchiladas for dinner the other night, which really didn't sound good to me, but hey, it's food. We were waiting patiently for it to finish cooking when I get the wierdest phone call I've ever received. My neighbor, who I've only spoken to a few times and I didn't know she had my phone number...called. She was calling to offer me her leftover chicken wings. I thought it was strange, but kind of nice. She said she was going to just toss them if I didn't want them, so I said, "I'll take 'em!"

I went over to her house to retrieve my leftover wings. When she opened the door, I noticed that she has absolutely NO furniture in her house. There was a gigantic computer desk and a dining room table, that's it. But what was wierder is that she didn't give me cooked chicken, but a plasic bag full of RAW chicken wings, skin and tips intact. Ewwwwwww.

I didn't want to waste them, so I went home and made a really yummy marinade and let them soak for the next 24 hours. It made a sweet dinner for the next night, but I was pretty sure we were all going to die from some freaky chicken disease. We didn't.

Deep Thoughts to Doughnuts

Last night, we watched an incredibly well done and entirely disturbing movie. It's called "Downfall" and it's the story of Hitler's last days told by his personal secretary. It's in German, with English subtitles, so watching it with my glasses was a little hard. (old prescription) But I really do recommend the movie. It actually had me crying. I don't cry in movies, ever. There is a scene towards the end where everyone is pretty much desperate. The Russians are just around the corner and the Germans have no way out. Hitler and close friends and associates have hunkered down in a bunker under Berlin, planning to kill themselves if the Germans lose. They all pretty much deserve what's coming to them, but there is a woman with her 5 children with them.

I just kept thinking about how wierd it is to me for someone to commit suicide for honor. I don't really get it. I always think about that when watching something to do with Samurai too. It seems so pathetic, rather than honorable to shoot yourself in the head to get out of having to deal with what you're up against. Basically, these are my deep thoughts for the day. There, I'm going to have another doughnut.

PS. The picture is a genuine Hitler Teapot. Wow.

Educational Programming

For any of you who have children, you probably know what I'm talking about when I say that there is nothing good left for kids to watch. I'm not particularly worried about it being appropriate for them, I let my kids watch Nacho Libre, Napoleon Dynamite, Wayne's World and School of Rock over and over again. What I am worried about is the subliminal messages coming from the shows on OPB. You know, the ones they are supposed to be watching? For example, there's a show called "Big Big World" on at 10am (I think). It's a freakshow I tell you. The main character is a sloth named Snook with the voice of someone who sounds suspiciously like Keanu Reeves. He sounds high and talks about how slowly he moves throughout the whole show. Then there's an egomaniac bird named Birdette (yes, very original) who constantly talks about how beautiful she is. Ugh, and I thought Barney was evil.

The only show left with any worth is "Jakers". If you haven't seen it yet, make a date some weekday morning to watch it. It cracks me up. It's about a bunch of little kids who happen to be a bull, a duck and a pig. Yeah, that's a likely grouping. Anyway, they all happen to be Scottish too. Hilarious.

On a completely unrelated note, Lauren is pretty sure she's been part of a major crime scene investigation. She keeps telling Hayden about the "cops" at Nordstrom Rack. We were shoe shopping during Hayden's class today. As we were getting into the car we saw about 5 or 6 police cars pull up with their lights on and a bunch of German Shepherd wielding cops jumped out. It was pretty obvious that some serious crap was going down. I assured her that they had it under control, but she wanted me to "speed away" as she put it. So I did. It wasn't like there were any cops available to pull me over anyway. She got a kick out of it.

Play Ball!

It's been awhile since my last post. I'd love to tell you that I've had a lot of interesting things going on and that I have so much to fill you all in on. I don't, not really. What has been keeping me from my blogging is the softball/teeball that is taking over my life. Hayden and Lauren are playing and there are 4 games/practices to take them to (and stay at) every week. It's a little much but it's so worth it to see them out there playing baseball. It's freaking adorable.

And since I know you're dying to know about how my pregnancy is going, who isn't? Oh, well since you asked...it's going great! I am not sick anymore, which is definitely a relief. I have my appetite back, only it's for the wierdest crap. I went into Albertson's tonight to pick up something for dinner and came out with (no, I'm not kidding) 2 Totino's pizzas, 2 tubes of Pringles, a block of Tillamook cheese, a box of granola bars and a lb of butter. Josh just looked at me and didn't say a thing. We are having mac n' cheese and pizzas for dinner tonight. It won't kill us.

That is all I have to say about that. Yeah, you can call me Forest, Forest Gump.

It's Alive!!

Swishashwishaswhisha...that's what we heard yesterday. That would be the sound of the baby's heartbeat. What an awesome thing, even if it did take about 5 minutes to finally hear it. I was starting to get really nervous when she found the little sucker at last. That little sucker is approximately the size of a peach now, for those of you who gave me crap about the food comparisons. Food is all I can think about, so it's fitting.

All in all, our first appointment was great. The midwives are very nice and knowledgable. I feel just as safe, if not more so, than I did with my previous pregnancies. This whole crazy thing should be fun!

On another, completely unrelated note, we are going to see Allison Krauss and the Union Station at the Edgefield in July! Weee! I really like them, but Josh is freaking in love with her. He told me he's so excited he thinks he might pee. I really hope he doesn't. We are going with my parents and hopefully James and Ashley. We're going to spend the night too, I can't wait! I told them I will be their designated walker, since we won't have to drive anywhere. Ashley said I will be responsible for making sure she walks in a semi-straight line. It's good to have purpose.

Sap Alert...

I had a really wierd day yesterday.

A very good friend of mine is going through a divorce. Her bastard "husband" was unfaithful to her and makes a very good case for castration. He was a friend of mine and Josh's as well as just her husband so on some level (small in comparison) it affected us all.

Yesterday, I helped my friend get the rest of her things from their house. She's been moved out for about a year and this was the first time she'd been back or seen him. She asked me to go with her because he wanted to be there when she came over. It was awful. I'm glad I was able to help in some way because I can't even imagine the kind of pit she had in her stomache if mine was as bad as it was. We got there and he acted like nothing had happened. I wanted to kick him in the nuts and scream at him, "You ruined everything!" But I didn't and I tried to make small talk with him while she figured out just what she was taking with her. When I noticed that she wasn't holding up very well, it really hit me just what we were doing there and I felt like I was going to puke. I managed to hold it together until I got in the car and then started sobbing. Luckily I was alone and she never saw me cry. I called Josh just to tell him how much I love him and how lucky I am to have him.

I know, nothing amusing in here today. Just had to get that out and hopefully inspire you guys to be good to eachother. Or I will come after you...

Chocolate Cake and Some Penguins

Amy and I took the kids to see Happy Feet at the Grand Lodge tonight. It was fantastic. The movie was cute and all, but what I'm referring to is the food we ate. You're probably thinking tots, beer, all the typical McMenamins yumminess. But nooooo, we (Amy) smuggled in 4 slices of chocolate cake, complete with 4 plastic plates and forks. Looking down the table at my sweet little girl eating illegal cake was pretty funny. Every time one of the servers would come in with someone's food, I would get all nervous and look around. I finally realized they don't care. They were all guys first of all and probably didn't notice in the first place.

When we got home from the movie, I had a surprise for Amy. I had starved my frog for two days so he would eat a cricket for her. She has been waiting since we got him to see the killing take place. It took a freaking half hour for the stupid little guy to eat his dinner. We ended up with 4 crickets running around his terrarium (better chance for the slaughter) when he finally got himself one. It was pretty anticlimactic, but it's my blog and I can write about whatever I want.

It's All Good

It's funny how people put so much faith in doctors. I haven't been to a doctor this pregnancy because we are going to be using a midwife instead. We're planning to do a home birth and be hippies this time. For the last two pregnancies, I took a home test, called my entire family and close friends when it was positive and then saw my doctor within a few days to have an official test done. This "official test" is the same as the store ones, just done by someone with a degree.

This time, it was different. I took the test and then nothing followed. We went to meet the midwives, but they didn't do any kind of testing. I was starting to second guess myself. I know...stupid...my belly's getting bigger, etc...

So this afternoon, I swung by the Dollar Tree to get me one of those quality tests. It was positive, of course. But I felt SO relieved! On the way home, I had planned my reaction to it being negative. I was going to cry a lot, and then drink a six pack of whatever was handy and eat a butt load of sushi and brie.

Instead, here I sit munching on an apple and a glass of milk. I hear that's better for growing a baby than beer. Just a rumor.

My Eyelids Weigh a Thousand Lbs

Seriously. I have been sleeping all day! I still feel like I'm doped up on Nyquil, only without the freaky heart palpitations. I guess I can use the excuse that I'm making a person, but it really doesn't seem to make me feel legitimate.

On a side note, my children are vagrants. Yes, they have a home, but they are total vagabonds. They are both currently eating dinner, squatting on their chairs. Why? They're both tall enough to sit comfortably at the table like civilized beings, but nooooo, they choose to squat. I'm too tired to argue about it tonight. As long as they go to bed in 1 hour and 38 minutes (no, I'm not counting down or anything). Update: they are doing tai chi now. How the hell did they learn that? Freakin' dirty hippy vagabonds.

Ok, I'm not even making sense. That's enough for me. Back to bed.

I'm Baaaaaaaaaack!

I'm a loser. I haven't blogged in a long time. I'm sorry to all my fans. (Ashley)

But anywho, it's 9:09am on Saturday. I'm supposed to be at a baby shower in less than an hour. I haven't showered. I'm going to be late, and yet I blog. It's okay though because I don't reread anything. So if this is terribly misspelled, I really do apologize. I noticed that I wrote "enless" in the previous post. I'm an idiot.

So the big news in our house is that I'm PREGNANT! Woo hoo! I'm 7 weeks along and the baby is approximately the size of a raspberry. Dude!

We have decided to use a midwife this time around and have a home birth. I know, I know...I'm crazy. We met with a couple of midwives on Tuesday and they were awesome. I felt like they were more in tune with what we wanted than any doctor I've ever met. The only drawback to the home birth is there will be no Statol. If you aren't familiar with Statol, I'm sad for you. It's the crack cocaine of the birthing world. I didn't have epidurals with the other two kids, but this stuff was amazing. Oh well, au natural for me. I'm sure the midwives won't mind if we have real cocaine there. I've never tried it, but what better time than the very painful birth of a child?

Ok, it's 9:18. I need to get my ass in the shower.

Out.

Chuck E. Cheese Sucks Ass

Yes, the big furry mouse sucks ass. Not literally of course, that would be a lawsuit in the works... But the entire establishment is my enemy today. I took the kids to a birthday party, yes another birthday party, it's enless. This one was for...wait for it...my Grandpa's girlfriend's son's daughter. She's sorta family, right? No. But she is cute, and rich. She also LOVES Lauren and says she's her best friend in the WHOLE world.

Anyway, the party was in Vancouver, so it took me 45 minutes to get there. We sang a bunch of gay mouse related songs, ate a lot of pizza, ate cake that was originally in the shape of a dinosaur, played some Skee Ball and left. It was 3:30 by then, and we were lucky enough to hit all the good traffic on the way home. I can honestly say I saw every single person who lives in the Vancouver/Portland area today. They were all on I-5 South.

We are home now, thank God...I feel like I'm going to pass out, so I need to get up and move or I will. Good day.

PS. Any ideas on what the "E" stands for in Chuck E. Cheese?

PPS. Since Kara insists there are millions of people reading my blog every day, or 8 at least, I expect you all to come to my PartyLite party tomorrow night.

PPSS. There is no PPSS.

Nutmeg! Nutmeg? Don't Be Ridiculous!

I just made the most disgusting dinner ever made, in the history of dinners. I can't blame myself too much, since it was a recipe, but I should have known not to put nutmeg in fettuccine alfredo. The recipe called for it, and I'm a law abiding citizen, so...

My kids won't touch it. I can't finish it and Josh hasn't even gotten home yet. I thought about tossing his portion, but I really want to see if he likes it. He just might...*fingers crossed*...but I highly doubt it. Looks like he's getting leftover manicotti from last night. (Which was really good, *Sarah, take a bow*)

Unrelated, we watched Word Play last night. It's a documentary about the National Crossword Championship. It was fabulous. The whole movie, I was dying for a crossword to do. I went online and found one, but it's not the same without that newspaper smell and the pen. Yes, a pen. As we learned last night, that makes me some sort of elitist. Ha! I just hate pencils. I also never actually finish the crossword.

So this morning, after dropping Lauren off at school, I stopped at the little news stand at the corner and bought a paper. I was seriously desperate to get out of my car with my glasses and unwashed hair in a really messy bun to get my paper. If you know me and my issues with my hair and my ugly night goggles (glasses), you get this.

Off to solve my puzzle. Yeah, right... I'm so stuck.

Vincent & the Crickets

It sounds like a really cool band doesn't it?

It isn't a band, \Vincent is our new frog. Emily and Jon got him for the kids. He's a chubby frog. I'm serious, that's what Petco calls him. He is very cute.

However...he eats crickets. Or rather, he's supposed to eat crickets. We put them in his aquarium and he just sits there in all his chubby frog glory and lets them chirp all freakin' day long. I HATE crickets now. There's one in particular, I'll call him Dan. Dan is a real A-Hole. He hasn't shut up in two days. I keep yelling, from various places in the house, "shut up you stupid cricket". The kids think it's hilarious. I assure you, it's not hilarious. I'm losing my mind.

We've been stuck in our house (yeah, with the crickets) since Monday evening. There has been no school, so the kids are a little on the rambunctious side. I keep threatening them, they don't listen. They just keep jumping off the couches and giggling incessantly. Ugh, this is why we have schools.

We did go to a movie today though. We saw "Night at the Museum". It was surprisingly funny. I love Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller. I really want to go a museum now. I'm sure it would be a let down since none of the exhibits would really come to life. A girl can dream can't she?

I'm going to go commit some insect murder now. Good day.

Happy New Year!

I think I'm dying. I couldn't sleep last night because I could have sworn my throat was closing up. It started at about 3pm yesterday and progressively got worse as the night went on. By about 5 this morning, I was standing in my kitchen with a bag of cough drops, waiting to die. I'm kidding of course, but I was freaking out a tad. I still don't know what's going on. I don't have a fever or any other symptoms. My throat has given up on me, that's all.

Speaking of pipes being clogged...okay, that was a stretch...but really. Our dishwasher has been sucking more and more each day since about a year ago. We thought it was just a cheap piece of crap and there was nothing we could do about it. We priced new ones and basically resigned to spending about $450 for a stinkin' dishwasher. Weeellll.... last night Josh took it apart. I guess he figures if we're going to dump it anyway, no harm in breaking it, right? He found some little black piece of plastic shoved inside the hose. Yep, he fixed the dishwasher. Hurray! No more hand washing! Woo hoo!! And for any of you who are thinking, "get over it, I hand wash my dishes and don't have a dishwasher..." YOU aren't washing dishes for this family of pigs.

Anyway, we had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. We spent Christmas Eve with Josh's family and had the prime rib dinner of dreams. Christmas morning we got to surprise the kids with bikes. They were also pretty jazzed about the carrots that the reindeer (I) chewed up and spit out all over the front step. We then headed over to my parents' house for our annual gift fiasco. It was great. Lots of inspired gifts this year, including the trip from my mom and dad for the whole fam. They're taking us to a GIANT house in Washington in June. It's on the Puget Sound and looks like a fantastic time. Can't wait!

We left the day after Christmas to go to Sunriver with Josh's family and some friends of the family. It was relaxing and beautiful & Tina (Josh's mom) cooked some awesome food. I gained 3 lbs. Damn.

We got back on the 30th and spent the day doing laundry. The next morning, I got to visit my new cousin in the hospital. I won't go into all the details because this post is already long enough. Check Sarah and Rob's blog to the right. Long story short, the baby Jack is the most beautiful and cute baby I've seen in a LONG time. I can't wait to nuzzle him some more.

New Years was spent at Heidi and Stefan's. As always, it was a blast. We had some beer, some more beer and then some beer. At midnight, we had some champagne. Then we had some more beer. Next year it's been decided that we will just have some Miller High Life, the Champagne of Beers instead. No one likes cheap champagne anyway. We played darts until 2 am and somewhere in the middle of everything, Josh and Stefan saved some crazy hispanic girls and a baby from being attacked by a carful of drunk chicks. It was definitely entertaining.

Cheers!

Nothin' Says Christmas Like a Little Ninja

I just wrapped a bunch of stocking stuffers. If you're on my list of recipients, close your eyes while reading the rest of this post. I'm not exactly sure how that will work, but feel free to try it. I went shopping last night with Amy. We went out to Hawthorne to Greg's. This is my new favorite store. Where else are you going to find 1/2 inch ninjas? Really! I know what you're thinking...who needs 1/2 inch ninjas? Every man in my family. That's who.

The best purchase of the evening was by far the "Jesus Rocks" chewing gum for my dad. It's just blasphemous enough to be funny. Anything less would be offensive, like for example the Jesus action figure I had in my hands.

You can also get sushi tape, bacon tape, "I Heart Meat" stickers and buttons. (I held back Ashley)

On another retail related note, Amy says that JoAnn's has all of their Valentine's stuff out already. I think they're screwy.

Wow, you guys must think I do nothing but shop. 'Tis the Season!

Chestnuts Burning in a Fireplace

Funny thing. Burnt chestnuts smell a lot like pot. And peanut butter. But mostly pot.

We all went out on Saturday night for my mom's birthday. It was fabulous. We all (13 of us) went to Stanfords and I ate a TON of food. I was actually a tad sick from overindulgence. That didn't stop me from repeat eating my leftovers the next day, mind you.

When dinner was over, we went back to my parents' house to roast the chestuts that my dad bought for just that very purpose. Upon entering the house, the lights started to dim. It wasn't more than 20 minutes before the power was completely out. We had fires in both fireplaces, candles lit all over the place and 14 (we aquired Molly along the way) of us to keep eachother warm. My dad wasn't going to let a little thing like no power get in the way of the roasting. We loaded up the roasting pan and stuck it in the fireplace. The first batch just wasn't done. The nuts were still really wet and squishy. So...we tried again. No luck. The outside burned and the middle was still squishy in some places and hard as a freakin' rock in others. Then Jon took over. He spent a good 25 minutes in there by himself, perfecting the chestnuts. Didn't go so well...

The lights suddenly came on and everyone could suddenly see. Jon could also see his nuts. (Don't go there) They were completely charred. There was no nut to speak of anymore. Only shells of charcoal. The whole house was visibly filled with smoke. James came in and said, "smells like weed".

So...moral of the story is chestnuts weren't meant to be roasted over an open fire.

Here's to New Traditions!

So my dad is the king of old-fashioned traditions. We all LOVE it and totally live for all the cool things he comes up with. It's awesome!

In the spirit of Christmas tradition, he bought some gingerbread houses for the kids to decorate at his house last night. What a cool idea, right? I mean, what kid doesn't like to stick candy to cookies in the shape of a house. It's like a Kodak moment waiting to happen, right? Wrong.

The adults took over and turned it into the gingerbread house decorating fiasco of the century. There was some serious competition between the girls and the guys. It was a bit reminicient of the "Cartel" vs. the "Women" Life game at the beach this January.

The girls' house looked like your typical pretty gingerbread house.

The guys'.....well check out the picture. They started it off with a giant anarchy symbol on the roof and topped it off with the huge door "knockers" on the front. Somewhere in between there was a "back door" (yes, dirty) with the words "oh oh oh" instead of "ho ho ho". Sick puppies I tell you. It was fabulous.

My dad bought some chestnuts "for the roasting". Let's see what disgusting things we can come up with. Let's make it a Christmas to remember....

'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

If you don't already know what that means, it's from a book I bought for my aunt Sarah about 10 years ago. It was called, "'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy, and Other Misheard Lyrics". It was stinkin' hilarious. There were a bunch in there that everyone, or at least I could relate to. My all time favorite is still the "Blinded by the light! Wrapped up like a douche, another roner in the night". Supposedly those are the wrong lyrics, but I'm not buying it.

You may wonder where the hell I'm going with this...

I have been noticing all the Christmas songs that are completely ruined by my father and husband, along with many others. I was just saying to my dad and Josh the other day that I was surprised by how FEW they had ruined for me. That got me thinking. Now I notice EVERY time one comes on the radio.

A few examples:

Walking in a Winter Wonderland..."Walking 'Round in Womens' Underwear" (Thanks to both dad and Josh)

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...not so much a wording difference, but I always hear Devon's voice doing an accented version of the song.

I'll Be Home For Christmas..."I'll Be a Gnome For Christmas" (Credit to dad)

I can't think of any more at the moment, but I'm sure they'll come to me.

No Habla Ingles?

That's it! I'm never leaving the house again! The whole world is frantically shopping and I can't even get my stupid errands done!

I left the preschool at 12:30, went to Kohl's to get Josh a shirt for the Christmas party, went across the parking lot to Winco and then further down the parking lot to Jo-Ann's. This took me 3 freaking hours! Geez!

Winco was a nightmare. There were abandoned carts all over the place and we had to park in Egypt. I'm not kidding, it was in Cairo. It took us an hour and a half alone just to get some stupid groceries. On top of that, the lady in front of me in line didn't speak ANY English and the checker didn't speak ANY Spanish. She was trying to use her Oregon Trail card and the machine was malfunctioning. I was ready to scream.

On the upside...I'm done with my errands and have a hot cup of coffee on the table next to me. I'm staring at the beautifully lit tree and listening to K103 on the laptop. I appreciate a station that immediately switches to all Christmas songs as soon as December hits. In fact, I think they started before that. Fabulous.

I've sent my Christmas cards (except you, Kara. I need your address), decorated the house and am almost done with gift shopping. I get to sit back and enjoy this year! I plan to make a lot of cookies and eat even more. (not sure about the logistics of that one)

Huh huh, you said "log".

My house is all Christmassed out. I already feel better. There are little red bows above my windows, ornaments in a bowl on the table, my little ugly nativity scene, snowglobes from my 6 years of combat shopping (all free from JC Penny), garland wrapped around my staircase railing and various red, white and green things all about. All I'm missing is the yule log. Oh, that's right, I don't have a fire place. Blast!

I don't know why, but this time of year makes me feel so good! I feel like a Bing Crosby Christmas album all the time! Hopefully we will be able to go get our tree this weekend. I'm really looking forward to the lights and the scent of "tree". Only problem is we have another (yes, another) birthday party here next weekend and I'm afraid of giving up any room for the tree. Hayden is turning 5 on the 11th, so we're going to have his first "kid" party on the 9th. We're doing an army/camo theme so I'm thinking there will be about 8 boys running around in a 20 sq ft area. Oh well, I'll just make 'em drop and give me 20 if they get out of hand. That or I'll give them more cake and send them home. Yeah, I'll do that.

PS Notice the doll in the picture. Looks a bit sacrificial to me...

Are There Birthdays in Hell?

Our weekend was a flurry of childrens' birthday parties. It all started on Wednesday, I know...that's not the weekend. My cousin, who is 4 had her birthday party that night. We drove to St. Johns for the shindig. It was a typical 4 year old's party. Cake, juice, chaos, etc. The only part of the kids parties that I like was missing though! My aunt asked everyone not to bring presents. Sad. (I know she doesn't NEED anything, but NO presents?)

Then on Friday, we had Lauren's party. There was some serious girliness going on in this house. We did dinner, cupcakes, gifts and makeovers. My 10 year old sister-in-law helped to "makeover" the girls. They all looked like little hookers. It was great. However, I always get ahead of myself and make things bigger than they need to be. We luckily ended up with half of the girls not showing up. There were 8 kids here and 6 that could have shown up. Whew... thank God most of the girls in her class have parents who don't speak English and probably couldn't read the invitation.

We had three of the girls spend the night on Friday night. It was fine except for them not actually sleeping...

Sunday was the third and final day of birthday bliss. Preston, Lauren and Audrey all have the same birthday. Lauren and Preston were actually born on the same day in 2000 only a few hours apart. Audrey was born 2 years later on the same day. So, Sunday was Preston's day. We went out to their house and did the whole routine again. Cake, presents, chaos. There was at one point 8 kids making a train through their house. It was loud. Josh whispered to me, "get me out of here". We left.

Anyway, if anyone wants to say their weekend sucked or was uneventful...come talk to me! I'll make you feel better. Or I'll punch you in the nose.

old.

When did I get so old? I know, I'm only 26, but I feel OLD all of a sudden. I have lines around my eyes and mouth, sagging boobs and grey hair. Am I the only one who feels like this? Dang, I am supposed to be at my prime and I am WASTED!
Maybe it all has to do with the fact that I'm planning my daughter's 6th birthday party. That alone makes me feel ancient. I told my dad that the other night and he said, "Watch it, what does that make me?" And my son is turning 5 in less than a month! My baby! Aaack!
I want the t-shirt that my dad received as a gift from a friend of his a long time ago. It was probably his 30th birthday or something. This guy made him a black t-shirt with the word "old" in tiny little letters right across the front. It's exactly how I feel.
The decongestant I took an hour ago isn't making me feel any younger.
I'm sorry this post sucks so much.

Stupid Judicial System

So here's what my week was like. I know it's only Thursday, but I feel like it's been longer. I had jury duty. I had to call and report on Monday after 4pm. They said to come at 8am on Tuesday to report for duty. I did. They made me sit around all morning. Everyone but me was called for some reason or another. I was left holding my stupid profile in my hands. I thought I was in the clear. Nope! The bailiff came back in and called a whole bunch more names. I was one of them. At this point it's 11:20 am. She says that we have to leave the courthouse and come back at 1:30. So I go home and eat some lunch and do some laundry. When I get back to the courthouse, they are not ready for us, which I have learned is the way our court system works. One hour = 2 hours and so on. They call us in to the jury room at 2:30. Now there were 30 people in a room no bigger than my living room. It's hot and stuffy and they lock us in. Yep, locked the freakin' door behind them and leave us in there. 45 minutes later they come back in (when I say "they" I mean the bailiffs) and bring us into the courtroom. We each have been assigned a seat. I am in the front row of the jury panel, there are 12 of us up there and the rest are sitting in benches. They start asking us all sorts of wierd questions. After 2 more hours, they have chosen their jury. I am on it. Yay!
So, they have us come in Wednesday for trial. At this point, I'm kind of excited. I get to sit in on a real criminal case ( I won't get into the details for fear of the poleese comin' to get me). We get there at 9 am and start the trial. I get to hear testimony from several witnesses and see some horrifying photos. At 4:40, the judge lets us go home.
I show up today for the day at 9 am and the bailiff is there to tell us that we have to wait in the jury room until 10. We do. At 10:30, she and the judge come in to tell us there was a mistrial. They sent us home. DAMNIT! I don't even get to hear the defense side of the story! We never got to deliberate and I'll never know the outcome. I'm so bummed! Anyway, that's my week. Sucks.

MySpace Addict

I am so mad at myself for starting this whole myspace thing. I swore to everyone I know that I hated it and would never be a part of it. I was soooo wrong. I just signed up so that Heidi could look up her sister in law in California who supposedly had an account. We never even found her. Dang it. Now, my account just sat there for almost a year while I got random emails every once in awhile from some pornstar wannabe who wanted me to add them as a friend. I like to deny them... Anyway, I'm getting off subject. One day, about a month ago, I get an email from an old friend who sent me a message through myspace. Then my sister (yeah, that's you Emily) got an account and started leaving me comments. Now my page actually looks active and I suddenly had 6 friends. I thought "what the heck, I'll use it to look up old friends and such". Now I am actually dreaming about it. I am sick. I might need counseling. I have 20 friends now and have just found my long lost cousins. I am really happy and don't hate it anymore. I am an addict. Great, one more thing to keep me from getting my "job" done. So, the picture on this post is from Angela, one of my real life friends. It cracks me up.

Doofus is Me

I can't believe what I did this morning. I had written into my little calendar(mentioned in a previous post) that my son had preschool today. It said "PK-Trick or Treating" for today. I got him all ready in his costume and took him to school. Yeah, no school today. That would have been embarrassing enough but to make matters worse, there was another class there today. We got all the way inside the class before I figured it out. I'm so glad he didn't have a costume involving any face paint or anything. We just slipped him out of his "armies" as he's calling them and continued on with our day. What a HUGE dork I am. Man!
On a completely different note...the Halloween party was a major success. There were a lot of people and almost everyone had a great costume. There were a few who showed up later with little or no costume. They were lucky we were all drunk by the time they got there. Otherwise, they would have had to wear the Mr. Potato Head costume that was tucked away for their kind. You know the kind. They put on something slightly different than their everyday clothes and maybe cover themselves in glitter or something but by no means are they wearing a costume. Losers.
My personal favorite costumes of the year...
-My own husband who was Alex from "A Clockwork Orange". He was creepy and wonderful. The jock strap with cup was pretty sexy too... Ok, maybe not.
-Angela who was an "Anxiety Attack" wearing a t-shirt with prescription meds taped to it and was carrying a GIANT martini glass and had mascara running down her face.
-Giovanni who came as Jack from Jack in the Box. He had a paper mache head that looked EXACTLY like the guy from the commercials. It was perfect.
-Jen as the girl from "The Birds" with little bloody birds all over her. Classic.
-My uncle Rob as a nun. Nuff said.
-Devon as Moses, accompanied by his girlfriend Kendra, who was none other than a beer bottle.
Oh man, there are so many that I can't remember at the moment. It was all good. Very nicely done Amy!

Avon Calling!

So I keep having this picture of Peg Boggs from Edward Scissorhands going through my head. The scene where she walks into his giant scary house and says, "Avon calling!". The reason for this constant thought is that I became an Avon lady this week. I know how incredibly cliche it is to sell Avon when you're a stay at home mom. I don't care. I actually started selling it because I needed more blush and I don't have an Avon lady. My friend Kristina was selling it for awhile but she isn't anymore and I am out of blush! (This is no ordinary blush either) I also get most of my stocking stuffers for Christmas from Avon. Where was I going to find all that chapstick, bodywash and mini bubble bath? I decided to sign up and see what happens. I love it! It's so cheap that I don't feel like I have to encourage people to buy anything. When I was doing Mary Kay I always felt like a fraud. I couldn't even afford it! Anyway, I was just thinking about this scene and had to find a picture of it. Here it is. Oh, and does anyone have an order? Just kidding. Ok, I'm not kidding.

Naked for $500 Alex

I've been meaning to blog about this for over a week now. The moment has passed and I should just let it go but I can't. It's just too good.
Last Friday our kids were spending the night at my parents' house. We were going to have a date but didn't know exactly what we were going to do yet. I get a call from my aunt inviting me to Strip Jeopardy at a little place on Hawthorne. She assures me that it's just a fun little gathering. Her friends have done it before, they are mothers so I assume it will be low key and no one will actually get nekkid. I was WRONG.
The contenders are a guy named Brendan who was good looking and had a decent body, Katie who is my aunt's friend and then there was Tom. Ugh, Tom. He was about 100 lbs overweight with hair pouring out of all of his clothing.
The game is exactly what it sounds like, you sit on a panel (barstools) and are asked random questions. You get it right, you stay dressed. Wrong, remove something. Unfortunately for us, Tom was really bad at this game. So was everyone else. They were all naked except for a strategically placed viking hat on Brendan and some panties on Katie. Tom was totally nude.
I know, we should have left before it got to that point. That's what my husband kept telling me. I couldn't pull myself away! It was a train wreck that had to be finished.
Anyhow...the moral of this story? Don't trust mothers.

Greatest Form of Birth Control

3 little boys. That's all I have to say and most of you will understand the chaos in my house right now. I have them watching Chicken Run so I can hear my thoughts enough to actually write this. If it seems like it's choppy it's probably because it's already taken me 5 minutes to do this much.
I am watching an old friend of mine's kids for the day. They are 3 & 7 year old boys. The older one is a total boy. 100%. He shouts and yells and wrestles and keeps telling me, "hey, watch me do this". The younger one is absolutely precious. His mom says he's mildly autistic but he's just really sweet so far. He repeats himself alot but is otherwise normal as far as I can tell. They, in combination with my kids are very loud though.
I have given up with trying to give them nutritious meals too. The older one is very picky apparently. He said he was starving so I offered him about 400 ideas for lunch. All he wants is pizza or hot dogs. I have neither. Papa Johns does though. So I have ordered us pizza which doesn't exactly fall into the Weight Watchers category but I don't care. We're having pizza damnit.
They are wrestling again. So much for Chicken Run.

Very Merry Unbirthday to Me!

I love October already but it just got better. My inlaws were too busy to celebrate my birthday in July with the rest of the world (yes, the whole world) so they made Saturday my unbirthday. It was great! They supplied us with a babysitter and took us to dinner and a movie.
We went to Cheesecake Factory and dined on some deliciousness. We had appetizers and dessert too! That's livin' large I tell you.
They even got me an actual present! I got some new work out clothes and a gym bag. Too bad my gym membership ended in August...they had the right idea though. Besides, it makes me want to put on my new duds and go for a run. That is until I look outside and see that it's raining. Oh, and I hate running.
After dinner we went to a movie. We saw The Guardian. Eh, so the movie kind of sucked. It doesn't matter because it was free and the first movie I've seen in a theater in months. I have to admit too that I was kind of into the movie, sitting on the edge of my chair and my heart was pounding. I can't say it was the story though, I am afraid of the ocean and drowning and this movie is all about the Coast Guard. Yeah, Ashton Kutcher is freakin' hot too.

Update

Ok, my husband just text messaged me to tell me to update my blog. I responded with "the onion and garage?" I assumed he meant that everything I had said in my post on Saturday was no longer true. I had him pick up an onion on his way home from the gym last night, fulfilling the need for one and I cleaned the entire garage yesterday. No more homelessness in our geeraage.
But no, he responded with "and your lunch". I sat looking at my cell phone expectantly like it would suddenly expand on what he said. Hmm, what could he mean? OH! I ate at Schlotzsky's today! Mmmmmmm. I'm actually licking my lips. I miss that place so much from our days in Misery, uh I mean Missouri. It was everything I remembered it to be. My 4 year old son said "Mom, you are the best mom in the whole entire world" when we were getting in the car after lunch. That's saying alot. He's a picky little guy.

Ahh, Another Productive Saturday

Okay, I say this sarcastically. Saturdays suck. Maybe if I was stuck in the "rat race" during the week I'd feel differently about this. But as it is, Saturdays are just a more messy and frustrating day of the week than any of the others. I always plan to get a whole bunch of stuff done and never end up doing anything good.
This morning I woke up at 8:30 to get myself and the kiddies ready for a birthday party. We went to Target for the gift, wrapped it in the car and made it to Papa's Pizza (aka HELL) by 11am. Ick. We stayed at the party for 2 hours, which ended up being ok because the mom of the little girl whose party it was is my friend. Still, stuck at a kids' party on a Saturday when all I wanted to do was go to the farmers' market and get an onion.
Got home at 1:30 after going to the Post Net store (like a Mail Boxes Etc) to send some stuff, which I find out can't be sent certified mail from there. I'll have to go to the Post Office on Monday. Yippee.
Anyway, it was a nice day but I still haven't gotten an onion and our garage looks like a homeless person has been shacking up in it. I've been planning to clean it up for like 8 Saturdays. Maybe next week will be the one!
Weight Watchers update: 12 lbs! Woo Hoo!

Funeral Songs

I have been tagged by Kara in a silly chain letter type blog thingy. I am asked to list the 5 songs I would want played at my funeral. I can't decide whether I want to be serious about this or just name a bunch of stupid songs that would make everyone laugh. Hmmm, I'll go serious. This might actually make you laugh more...

1. Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton

2. Lamb Lies Down on Broadway by Genesis

3. Leaving on a Jet Plane (sung by) Chantal Kreviziak (sp?)

4. Thanks for the Memory by Bob Hope

5. Your Song by Elton John

And there you have it. If I die tonight, that's what I want played. If I make it throught the night, ask me again. It will have changed.