Doofus is Me

I can't believe what I did this morning. I had written into my little calendar(mentioned in a previous post) that my son had preschool today. It said "PK-Trick or Treating" for today. I got him all ready in his costume and took him to school. Yeah, no school today. That would have been embarrassing enough but to make matters worse, there was another class there today. We got all the way inside the class before I figured it out. I'm so glad he didn't have a costume involving any face paint or anything. We just slipped him out of his "armies" as he's calling them and continued on with our day. What a HUGE dork I am. Man!
On a completely different note...the Halloween party was a major success. There were a lot of people and almost everyone had a great costume. There were a few who showed up later with little or no costume. They were lucky we were all drunk by the time they got there. Otherwise, they would have had to wear the Mr. Potato Head costume that was tucked away for their kind. You know the kind. They put on something slightly different than their everyday clothes and maybe cover themselves in glitter or something but by no means are they wearing a costume. Losers.
My personal favorite costumes of the year...
-My own husband who was Alex from "A Clockwork Orange". He was creepy and wonderful. The jock strap with cup was pretty sexy too... Ok, maybe not.
-Angela who was an "Anxiety Attack" wearing a t-shirt with prescription meds taped to it and was carrying a GIANT martini glass and had mascara running down her face.
-Giovanni who came as Jack from Jack in the Box. He had a paper mache head that looked EXACTLY like the guy from the commercials. It was perfect.
-Jen as the girl from "The Birds" with little bloody birds all over her. Classic.
-My uncle Rob as a nun. Nuff said.
-Devon as Moses, accompanied by his girlfriend Kendra, who was none other than a beer bottle.
Oh man, there are so many that I can't remember at the moment. It was all good. Very nicely done Amy!

Avon Calling!

So I keep having this picture of Peg Boggs from Edward Scissorhands going through my head. The scene where she walks into his giant scary house and says, "Avon calling!". The reason for this constant thought is that I became an Avon lady this week. I know how incredibly cliche it is to sell Avon when you're a stay at home mom. I don't care. I actually started selling it because I needed more blush and I don't have an Avon lady. My friend Kristina was selling it for awhile but she isn't anymore and I am out of blush! (This is no ordinary blush either) I also get most of my stocking stuffers for Christmas from Avon. Where was I going to find all that chapstick, bodywash and mini bubble bath? I decided to sign up and see what happens. I love it! It's so cheap that I don't feel like I have to encourage people to buy anything. When I was doing Mary Kay I always felt like a fraud. I couldn't even afford it! Anyway, I was just thinking about this scene and had to find a picture of it. Here it is. Oh, and does anyone have an order? Just kidding. Ok, I'm not kidding.

Naked for $500 Alex

I've been meaning to blog about this for over a week now. The moment has passed and I should just let it go but I can't. It's just too good.
Last Friday our kids were spending the night at my parents' house. We were going to have a date but didn't know exactly what we were going to do yet. I get a call from my aunt inviting me to Strip Jeopardy at a little place on Hawthorne. She assures me that it's just a fun little gathering. Her friends have done it before, they are mothers so I assume it will be low key and no one will actually get nekkid. I was WRONG.
The contenders are a guy named Brendan who was good looking and had a decent body, Katie who is my aunt's friend and then there was Tom. Ugh, Tom. He was about 100 lbs overweight with hair pouring out of all of his clothing.
The game is exactly what it sounds like, you sit on a panel (barstools) and are asked random questions. You get it right, you stay dressed. Wrong, remove something. Unfortunately for us, Tom was really bad at this game. So was everyone else. They were all naked except for a strategically placed viking hat on Brendan and some panties on Katie. Tom was totally nude.
I know, we should have left before it got to that point. That's what my husband kept telling me. I couldn't pull myself away! It was a train wreck that had to be finished.
Anyhow...the moral of this story? Don't trust mothers.

Greatest Form of Birth Control

3 little boys. That's all I have to say and most of you will understand the chaos in my house right now. I have them watching Chicken Run so I can hear my thoughts enough to actually write this. If it seems like it's choppy it's probably because it's already taken me 5 minutes to do this much.
I am watching an old friend of mine's kids for the day. They are 3 & 7 year old boys. The older one is a total boy. 100%. He shouts and yells and wrestles and keeps telling me, "hey, watch me do this". The younger one is absolutely precious. His mom says he's mildly autistic but he's just really sweet so far. He repeats himself alot but is otherwise normal as far as I can tell. They, in combination with my kids are very loud though.
I have given up with trying to give them nutritious meals too. The older one is very picky apparently. He said he was starving so I offered him about 400 ideas for lunch. All he wants is pizza or hot dogs. I have neither. Papa Johns does though. So I have ordered us pizza which doesn't exactly fall into the Weight Watchers category but I don't care. We're having pizza damnit.
They are wrestling again. So much for Chicken Run.

Very Merry Unbirthday to Me!

I love October already but it just got better. My inlaws were too busy to celebrate my birthday in July with the rest of the world (yes, the whole world) so they made Saturday my unbirthday. It was great! They supplied us with a babysitter and took us to dinner and a movie.
We went to Cheesecake Factory and dined on some deliciousness. We had appetizers and dessert too! That's livin' large I tell you.
They even got me an actual present! I got some new work out clothes and a gym bag. Too bad my gym membership ended in August...they had the right idea though. Besides, it makes me want to put on my new duds and go for a run. That is until I look outside and see that it's raining. Oh, and I hate running.
After dinner we went to a movie. We saw The Guardian. Eh, so the movie kind of sucked. It doesn't matter because it was free and the first movie I've seen in a theater in months. I have to admit too that I was kind of into the movie, sitting on the edge of my chair and my heart was pounding. I can't say it was the story though, I am afraid of the ocean and drowning and this movie is all about the Coast Guard. Yeah, Ashton Kutcher is freakin' hot too.

Update

Ok, my husband just text messaged me to tell me to update my blog. I responded with "the onion and garage?" I assumed he meant that everything I had said in my post on Saturday was no longer true. I had him pick up an onion on his way home from the gym last night, fulfilling the need for one and I cleaned the entire garage yesterday. No more homelessness in our geeraage.
But no, he responded with "and your lunch". I sat looking at my cell phone expectantly like it would suddenly expand on what he said. Hmm, what could he mean? OH! I ate at Schlotzsky's today! Mmmmmmm. I'm actually licking my lips. I miss that place so much from our days in Misery, uh I mean Missouri. It was everything I remembered it to be. My 4 year old son said "Mom, you are the best mom in the whole entire world" when we were getting in the car after lunch. That's saying alot. He's a picky little guy.

Ahh, Another Productive Saturday

Okay, I say this sarcastically. Saturdays suck. Maybe if I was stuck in the "rat race" during the week I'd feel differently about this. But as it is, Saturdays are just a more messy and frustrating day of the week than any of the others. I always plan to get a whole bunch of stuff done and never end up doing anything good.
This morning I woke up at 8:30 to get myself and the kiddies ready for a birthday party. We went to Target for the gift, wrapped it in the car and made it to Papa's Pizza (aka HELL) by 11am. Ick. We stayed at the party for 2 hours, which ended up being ok because the mom of the little girl whose party it was is my friend. Still, stuck at a kids' party on a Saturday when all I wanted to do was go to the farmers' market and get an onion.
Got home at 1:30 after going to the Post Net store (like a Mail Boxes Etc) to send some stuff, which I find out can't be sent certified mail from there. I'll have to go to the Post Office on Monday. Yippee.
Anyway, it was a nice day but I still haven't gotten an onion and our garage looks like a homeless person has been shacking up in it. I've been planning to clean it up for like 8 Saturdays. Maybe next week will be the one!
Weight Watchers update: 12 lbs! Woo Hoo!

Funeral Songs

I have been tagged by Kara in a silly chain letter type blog thingy. I am asked to list the 5 songs I would want played at my funeral. I can't decide whether I want to be serious about this or just name a bunch of stupid songs that would make everyone laugh. Hmmm, I'll go serious. This might actually make you laugh more...

1. Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton

2. Lamb Lies Down on Broadway by Genesis

3. Leaving on a Jet Plane (sung by) Chantal Kreviziak (sp?)

4. Thanks for the Memory by Bob Hope

5. Your Song by Elton John

And there you have it. If I die tonight, that's what I want played. If I make it throught the night, ask me again. It will have changed.